The Curious Misadventures of El Matt

Updates Galore

2009-04-27T22:32:00.003-05:00

OK, so in lieu of writing out an entire entry on how I should blog more and how it's been a long time since I last wrote anything on here and how I really should try harder to write more, I am finishing this paragraph and considering that enough on the subject.

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I'm going to Haiti soon. I, honestly, totally forget about the fact that I am leaving the country to go somewhere unlike anywhere I have ever been to do something....well, something. It's not that I am not excited. I very much am. But I do not really understand what I will be doing there. I want to help. I want to be useful. I am just not sure how. I am not too worried, though. God will use me somehow (right?).

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I have received a few replies from the ridiculous number (35) of applications I currently have floating out there on the desks of assistant principals across this country. Two rejections. I'm ok with it though, I really didn't want to work in those two places, they were more back-ups than anything. (Seriously.) It's still quite early.

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And now, to keep readers more interested. A random picture:

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I will be moving in a few months. It is pretty much (99.9%) fact. This is incredibly exciting because I love going to new places and meeting new people and seeing different culture and travelling. I am also, sometimes, incredibly worried that it will all be a big mistake. I have so many other friends and family members...can I leave them behind? should I leave them behind? will they leave me behind? can I handle that?

These are questions I don't have (and sometimes am not sure if I want) the answers to.

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It actually really bothers me that I ended that last sentence in a preposition. But there is no way that I am going to write "...to which I do not have (and sometimes am not sure if I want) answers." It undermines the entire style of this entry. :sigh: Linguistic dilemmas.

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I have one final exam and one thesis standing between me and the end of my quaternary education. I can see the end, but I just can't bring myself to finish it. Procrastination is a temptuous mistress.

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I miss late-night discussions on important (and ridiculous) things and themes. They were rampant in my earlier years of college. Now they have dwindled. I wonder if this is something I should accept, or something I can actively change.

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I wonder that about a lot of (re: most) things. Is the path I am idly sliding down something that I should learn to accept or something that I should actively try and change.

Hurm.

Spring Break is for Stress

2009-03-10T23:41:00.003-05:00

Applying for jobs is a stressful and almost painful process. You see, because I am dealing with two of our wonderful institutions that we all have grown to love: Education and Government. Because they are so intertwined they have made it the most impossible process to streamline any sort of way of finding a job, applying for a job, or getting a job.

Do you want to know what the salary will be like? Good luck finding it on their website.

Do you want to know if they are offering jobs? You might as well just check every single individual school district's website (and good luck navigating those!)

Do you want to submit your application? Oh, well everyone wants THEIR specific application filled out tediously online with tiny little forms or Word Documents that you have to erase blank spaces and fill out or PDFs that are not filloutable (Yes, I made up a word, I've got a degree in linguistics, I can do it.)

I am so tired of writing down the same exact things over and over and over again.

I'm also paranoid that I will not find a job at all. The massive amounts of layoffs for teachers that are going on and cutbacks in government budgets. I heard Marion County laid off 500 teachers and Duval county is cutting school days by 45 minutes and lowering the amount of credits that are required to graduate in order to cut elective classes. That's just two counties.

So, I have 19 applications out there in 11 states currently just floating around and hoping one will stick. Most are in California, Missouri, and South Carolina. I'm really hoping that I'll end up in a place I like. I know it will work out wherever I am and I can be used wherever I am...

Anyway, job hunt is stressful. And now I have to study for my Masters Comps for Monday and Tuesday. If I don't pass. No degree and all was for naught. woo. :

2009-02-04T20:49:00.002-05:00

So it seems I have abandoned my blog for over two months. Life has been...busy. That's probably the most accurate word to describe the past few months, you know, if I was forced at gun-point to give a bisyllabic one-word response that sums up my life since last internet posting.

Turns out, this is not one of those situations. Therefore, I think I'll expand upon this.

My current thought that runs through my head constantly is this:

Holy crap. I have no idea what I am doing.

Call it what you will: graduating, growing up, becoming an adult, the MA version of senioritis, quarter-life crisis (although, assuming I live to be 96 is probably a bit presumptious of me at this point).

I have all these plans, these ideas, these dreams. Exciting things. Interesting things. Wild things. (you make my heart sing?). And yet, there is a somewhat gnawing fear that I will not accomplish any of these plans; none of these dreams will come to fruition.

So it's perhaps an exaggeration that NONE of these ideas and plans will come through. And besides, I can be perfectly happy with a lot of outcomes. Sure, there are cities that I would love to live in, but I can be happy in other places...and there is a lot out there I do not know.

But that's just it. I do not know. My life is near a precipice and I'm about to jump off. There's no turning back. Nor do I want to turn back. The exciting adventure of jumping off and seeing where I end up....the incredible rush of changing scenery and new possibilities is entrancing. But it's all new and unknown. With this exciting unknown comes a whole host of scary possibilities that are creeping up in the back of my mind.

There are more thoughts, but I can't figure out how to word them. Maybe I'll bring it up later when I have the words.

2008-11-23T02:33:00.003-05:00

This year there is a lot to be thankful for.
Right now, it's just 4 days until Thanksgiving and I've had a day surrounded by amazing new friends and old friends. I will soon get to see more old friends and some family. There are parts of me that are changing and growing. Parts of me that are learning and persevering. Parts of me that are loving.

I keep trying to express my thoughts concisely, but I cannot think of a good way (shocker, I know);

God is good.

Wisdom. Strength. Courage.

2008-09-07T02:02:00.003-05:00

There has been a lot of change.

It's really kinda interesting to see how the past month has progressed (wow, has it only been just over a month since I have been back from Paris?). I can't say it has all 100% been great, but there has been a lot of good...but there has also been some rough times. It's been a joy, though, to persevere through those rough times. I'm not even sure if that makes sense to anyone else, but it's how I feel.

The future is weird. Part of me would like to know what is going on and part of me thinks that would spoil the surprise of getting there and make me not live in the moment. It's like, I'd love to see how this book, movie, tv-show, whatever ends....but if I just knew the end, the adventure of reading/watching it would no longer be exciting.

I have amazing friends. I am way blessed. I do not deserve them.

Also, God is pretty freaking awesome too. Definitely don't deserve that.

But, regardless, I am glad that they are all part of my life.

Yes.

Ups and Downs, But I'm looking ahead.

2008-08-26T16:51:00.003-05:00

So now it's that time again. End of August. End of Summer. Well, maybe just the end of the 'Idea of Summer'.

School is back in full-swing. It's almost like I never left.

Except I did.

And things changed (don't they always?).

But I'm ok with that. Change can be good. It can be great. It can be scary. It can be all of the above.

I have so many reasons to be thankful.

Although, I re-did my budget for the next 11 months and the gas and food price hike is kind of killing me. Also some things that popped up that I did not expect. Also I miscalculated last time I did a huge re-haul (3 or 4 months ago) and somehow, now, after double-, triple-, quadruple-checking, I am 500$ short from where I thought I once was. Oops. Not a great mistake to make.

Not so thankful for that, but it will work out.

Alright, I guess I should start working and get back into school mode.

Gainesville->Paris->London->Atlanta->Smoky Mountains->Savannah->Pensacola->Daytona->Gainesville

2008-08-15T21:58:00.009-05:00

So, I didn't update as much in this blog as I would have liked.

I think I shall bullet point some interesting tidbits about the past two months and you all can just bring them up with me if you would like to know about it. It has been a crazy past two months. That is for sure:

Evil EWR
Missing Three trains
The lady at the Eurostar counter
Sitting in the Tip-Down Seat for 3 hours
Meeting an awesome old British couple
My accent changing way too many times
Feeling oddly 'at home' instantly in Paris when I got into the Métro at Gare du Nord
Meeting my landlord and finding the only French people who don't drink café
Living in the smallest space I have ever lived in
A toilet being in a shower
A bed that is stored in the ceiling
French junkmail
The Postal Service on the super-fast moving sidewalk in the Montparnasse Station
Getting to know the crazy and awesome staff at the PRC
French Rock Radio
My students
Ridiculous stories about what other students did
Beignets
Playing Tour-guide for Joe and his parents
The Blue Eiffel Tower
Belleville Park
The search for slouchy
Michelle came to visit
Bastille Day in the Bois de Boulogne and on the Champ de Mars
Drinking on the Champ
Cafe Cremes with Joe and Tom in Normandy
The best croissants in the world
deux pains au chocolat
Qu'est-ce tu fais tous les jours?
The markets
The best strawberries in the world
The photo exposition
Getting to know the staff well
Helping to pull the program together
Louay's
Dinner with my old host family
The most ridiculous cell phone game ever
The almost-smart-car-adventure
Chinatowns
Telling off the people on Montmartre
Dr. N trying to explain to the Italians that they already were in Montmartre
Dr. N's explanations
Laura's visit
The 1200$ worth of texting
French Starbucks and Service and the ridiculous around St Mich/St Germ/Odéon
très sexy
No scrubs
My love for the métro
The NaviGO
Making lamb
A Microsoft Publisher Nightmare / Does anyone know about technology?
That bloody 80s song that got stuck in my head for a week thanks to Laura
Sleeping on a tile floor for a week
Leaving France via train and feeling like I've left another home
The Not-Nearly-As-Awesome Tube in London
The London Eye
Big Ben (cooler than you think)
Mussels and Beer with Laura
Crazy nights at the hostel
British Television
London is the most expensive city ever
Wandering in London
An American giving directions to French people in a British accent in a city he's spent a total of 30 hours in.
Knowing more about London and how to get around than any other tourist I met.
The tower of London guide who was amazing
The longest ride home sitting in the back seat of the smallest plane ever.
Family time
Camping in the Smokies
Tubing on the rapids....Thrice
Getting stung by a hornet....Thrice
Pop 5 ninjas
Killing a hornet with a frying pan
Building and Cooking on a real fire
S'mores
: sigh : Yes, I am was boyscout, lol
Sleeping in BunkBeds with Micah again (this happens too often)
Beautiful mountains
Driving slowly for others to catch up :P
Taking 3 routes to get to the waterfall
Creek walking
Mary was hardcore
Crêpes in the morning with bananas and peaches flambées (flambeee for micah)
Tons of games with awesome people
The hot tub
Lots of alcohol without anyone being drunk
Funny southern accents
Wineries in Tennessee
"What are apple fritters?"
Forgetting Godfrey
Sweet-Tea-less restaurant in Asheville
The chocolate store
Amazing architecture and renovation plans
Drives through the mountains
Savannah River ice cream and talkss
Jellyfish in Pensacola
Surprising Mobile
Sunburnt on the beach with a good book
Tons of seafood and relaxation with family
Sleeping in my own bed again

My summer was ridiculous, yes that was a long list. Most will not read it. But it was two months of amazingness that I would not trade...even through some of the rough times. "Without the sour, the sweet wouldn't taste..."

Paris Prepares People Phor Pensive Ponderings

2008-07-15T13:14:00.002-05:00

So I kind of cheated on the title. Forgive me.

Also, I wanted to make a long entry about all the things I have learned since being in Paris. Away from the constant attraction of the internet. Away from friends and family. Outside of the ability to be easy-to-reach. Paris is not quite the Negev, but nonetheless there have been many thoughts and ideas that have come clearer to my mind.

When I have more time, I'd hope to share them. I'd prefer in person, but that's sometimes a bit difficult.

: whew :

2008-06-19T07:52:00.002-05:00

Has it only been five days since I got here?

Wow.

It already feels like it's been two weeks.

The trip over was quite exhausting. Thursday after I taught I went up with my brother and mother to pick up my father in Jacksonville. We went out to dinner that night at The Landing, drove home, frantically did some last minute packing, and went to bed around 2am. We woke up at 7am, I got to Orlando just fine, flew up to Newark and here the fun began.

It was a five-hour layover anyway, I was expecting it, but I had some books to read and Drew's iPod (a.k.a. 2nd Saviour). I was starving (a chicken biscuit at 7am was not doing it for me by 1pm) and so I grab some WAY overly expensive food while watching France get the tar beaten out of them by the Dutch in soccer...er...football (Seriously? The DUTCH? oi).

After that I went to my assigned gate. Then I found out my gate changed...and then it changed again...then it was delayed....then changed gate again...then delayed again...then delayed...then gate change...then delay. FINALLY, we get on board (9 hours after I had arrived in the beautiful city of Newark) and we are 41st in line to leave. Yes, forty-one. There were, somehow, on a beautiful bluebird sky without clouds, forty-one other planes in line to leave the airport. Something tells me there is a management problem....but whatever, I got a free 5$ alcoholic beverage on the plane for my troubles. That makes up for it, right?

So, we get into London at the exact time that my train leaves. Perfect timing! Except now I have to take the 30 minute train ride into downtown London, switch at Paddington onto the Circle line and take it two stations down to St. Pancras/Kings Cross. I navigated the tube fine (even though it was experiencing technical difficulties, of course) and made my way to the station. I had missed my train, the next train, and the one after that. Luckily, the lady I told my story to at the Eurostar office let me not have to buy a full ticket, instead just one for 50£ (100$). The downside? It's a full train so I have to sit in a tip-up seat in the hallway between the traincars...for two and a half hours. I eventually get to Paris, take the two subway rides to my stop, and find the guy who owns my flat. He and his wife are very very nice, invited me in, gave me something to drink, and we had a little chat in their place before he showed me around the area and how to get to my studio. I put my stuff away, said goodbye to the guy and went in search of some food. Found something cheap and crashed. I had to get up early the next morning for orientation though.

The people at the Paris Research Centre (PRC) are very nice and it's a really nice place, too. They have, however, kept us quite busy. There are about 20ish students taking various classes. We've travelled around with them to Montmartre, the Quartier Latin, Montparnasse, the Tour Eiffel, and various other places. We've done quite a bit of walking, lol. Teaching is going well and I haven't had much time to myself until last night when I finally got to go grocery shopping.

I'm just finally settling in here though, the dust of new arrivals has settled and we're getting into a nice rhythm. Friday we are going out to Giverny (where Monet did most of his work) and Saturday out to Versailles with the whole group. It should be interesting. I haven't had any time to go on photo adventures, but I've taken some here and there. Hopefully I'll be able to upload some of them soon.

Anyway, that's my life at the moment. How's yours?

Celebrate Departure!

2008-06-02T09:47:00.003-05:00

So I only have 12 days left until I am gone for two months.

In honour of my departure, I would like to invite you all to participate in (thus far) three events of awesomeness:

1. This Friday evening. Party at my place. It's just an excuse to hang out. Come.

2. This Saturday morning. Tubing down the Ichetucknee. Who's up for it?

3. Sometime during the (next) week. (Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday) My mother and brother will be down and we could all possibly have dinner one day. Who's up for that?

It's weird to think I am even leaving. I wonder when this will start feeling real?

Updates

2008-05-27T16:15:00.003-05:00

It's the third week of Summer semester. I am enjoying the lack of major responsibilities, but I feel like I have way too much free time on my hands.

There are less than three weeks left before I leave for Paris. WOAH. Crazy. It doesn't seem so close.

I have had two weeks and I have done pretty much nothing research-wise. I guess I should start sometime.

I will have occasional computer access in Paris, but not my own computer...so I will be available quite rarely.

I have a new chair for my room. It is wonderful. Totally worth the money. Thanks to those who helped make this possible.

I had a good time in Orlando with some awesome friends. A couple of frustrations came out...but it's all good now.

I have a feeling this week will be good. :)

Bullet lists are how my mind works.

2008-05-22T15:12:00.002-05:00

It has been a pretty good week thus far.

Highlights:

Working one hour and fifteen minutes a week. Well, there is more work than that, but that's all that I have to do that is scheduled
Finally figuring out how I'm getting paid for Paris
Made smoothies with Mary
Had lunch with Stauffer at a new place I'd never been to before
Had lunch with Leah for super-cheap (thanks raffle tickets!)
Today's rainy gloom...even though it's still quite warm and feels like Florida, it was a nice relief.
Lunch with Stauffer's mom (and THE WORLD) on Sunday
Mike Patz's sermon on stewardship (and the thoughts it provoked in my mind I may one day get to on here.)
Opening a savings account.
My students all making As and Bs on their exams
New beginnings.
Better understanding of myself.
A sense of change and peace simultaneously. Not sure how that works but it is good.

It's interesting the things people say that stick with us...

2008-05-21T14:51:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I think I would like to have more comments on this blog. Not for the sake of going, "Oh, look how many comments I have! Look how many people love me!" (Love is not measureable in blog comments...nor should one try to do so.) I think mainly I just want to get some feedback.

This blog is sometimes used for an outlet of expression, but it's also a place to put forth my ideas and my thoughts. In college, I often got feedback from people either through comments in an online blog or being able to just hang out while throwing out ideas or thoughts about whatever crossed our minds. Sometimes it'd even turn into an argument or a debate. I got a call from a college friend yesterday and, over the course of our conversation, she lamented on the fact that sometimes people just don't want to throw these thoughts and ideas around and debate and argue over them. We all argued and debated constantly throughout college. It was hardly ever in anger, it was just a way we figured things out. Put forth ideas, hash through them, figure stuff out.

Sometimes it was typical collegiate subjects in academia: How many dimensions are there? Is Cartesian philosophy really flawed? Are we more controlled by nature or nurture?

Sometimes it was typical subjects of people in their late-teens and early-twenties: Why are women so confusing? What is love exactly? What am I going to do for the rest of my life?

But it was always in good fun and never caused a rupture in our friendships. In fact, we were probably stronger for it.

I'm not sure I get the same vibe in Gainesville.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not down on Gainesville (I love the people that are here), but a lot of times I see an avoidance of conflict of any kind from people and some placation instead of any debate or figuring out things. It's not like people never argue or have debates over things...but it's a different vibe. It's not a bad thing, just...different people, I guess.

But perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps it's not Gainesville. Perhaps it's just because we all lived within close quarters of each other and therefore the opportunities to just chill and chat were far more numerous. And because we were so used to acting that way around each other, when we hang out now post-college, we tend to revert to that type of talking....so I tend to only relate it to these people and that time of my life.

I dunno, I think I got off topic (most assuredly). At any rate, this wasn't a plea for more comments; it's not a complaint about anything, either--just a release of my thoughts.

I definitely talk a lot.

Hurm.

2008-05-17T00:20:00.002-05:00

I can't seem to make up my mind about anything recently. This is not a good.

I wonder how much your environment really alters yourself. I spent a week up in Atlanta and it was weird how I kind of reverted back to some of my old habits that I used to have when living with my parents. Not necessarily bad things, but just different. I found that I was also a lot less stressed about some things. I think that's good. Although, as soon as I got back into Gainesville, it's ridiculous how the stress kind of weighed itself back on me. It wasn't as bad, but it was quite different. My thoughts focused on different things up there than they did down here. I can't quite explain it, but I felt...different. I don't know what that means. I don't know if it's good or bad. I don't really know much of anything about it. Just....thought it was interesting.

OK. I think I'm done with this entry. I was about to get all emotional and expose more of myself than I think is probably wise.

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.

2008-05-08T00:35:00.006-05:00

So, I survived Finals.

Huzzahs all around.

It was a lot of work, I'm not going to lie, a lot of work. I probably could have done a little better than I did. But it was a lot at once. Ah well, it's over for now. After Finals, I was looking forward to the smooth sailing of the summer.

Oh, Matthew. How naïve you are! Life doesn't work like that. Have you not learned from life before? Perhaps you should take a class in history at Matt U.

Perhaps.

After finals I had tons and tons of grading to do. I also had a meeting I had to go to concerning my summer teaching at UF. I was still quite busy for some time, but it wasn't as stressful, which was good. I then went to the meeting and found out my original plans for the summer--which I had stressed about all semester in trying to get perfectly aligned and tried to let everyone know what was going on and not go behind people's backs--were now impossible. The teachers said they don't think it is a good idea and I had to choose between teaching the first half of the summer at UF or teaching the second half of the summer in Paris.

After a lot of debating and discussing with friends and my parents about what the best choice would be, I had not yet come to a decision. There were lots of things to consider: money, time, the ability of each program to replace me, what God might want me to do (if he even has a preference), etc. I was leaning on teaching at UF and then I got a call this morning though, from Paris, telling me that they really would like me to come to Paris and not teach at UF. The director in Paris also tried to talk to the head of the RomLang Dept and ask him to reconsider his decision. Perhaps he might change his mind.

Perhaps.

It turns out we all found a compromise that we could agree upon and I am now able to do both. This is very very good. It's also pretty awesome. I am excited.

So now, I am able to relax much more at home with my family and my friends. I'm going to see Michael, Kathryn, Nicole, & Drew tomorrow. It's going to be pretty sweet. I'm excited to see them. I'll get to see Becca on Friday and hang with Drew (from Gainesville) and Matt Stauffer when they come through too and show them Atlanta. It'll be pretty sweet. I'm excited.

Much less stressful now, which is good. I still have a kink in my back from my crappy chair I sat in way too much during finals week for typing the 50ish pages I wrote for school. But I'm hoping that goes away soon. There are a few things else on my mind, but a lot of them have been eased with the fact that a friend of mine helped me realize that just because you are being patient, does not mean you are not making a decision. Patience is an active decision, it's not laziness. It's something I will hopefully learn to handle well over the summer. That's my goal. God's not finished with me, yet, it seems. Perhaps I'll finally get it. Or, at least I'll be on my way.

Perhaps.

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.

Like a bee.

2008-04-27T14:27:00.003-05:00

Whew.

This past weekend was pretty much chockablock. I wrote my final paper for my much loathed Second Language Acquisition class. Submitted that. Went to Kristi's amazing art show. Enjoyed hanging out with my friends and seeing all the fruit of Kristi's labour. Then I went to a party and just hung with some people....'twas fun. Saturday I slept and took kind of a personal day. I've haven't been sleeping very well recently either. I dunno what it is. Maybe it's stress. Maybe it's the fact that I'm sharing a bed with a laundry basket. (How depressing.) Maybe it's the fact that I have 8 million and 1 things on my mind--of which 7 million of them are ridiculous and shouldn't even be on my mind. Oh well.

Today I have to write a 15 page-paper. Tuesday I have to write another one. Wednesday I proctor an exam. Grade the exams. Turn in the grades. Go to a meeting on Thursday and at some point, my mother wants me to come home via Columbus so I can pick up my brother. Oi. Busy busy.

So, I suppose I should go do those things that I need to do. I'm sure I'll be back here procrastinating later.

2008-04-22T12:24:00.004-05:00

So, after a frustrating end to yesterday, I'm back to feeling strangely calm. I still have a lot to do, but it seems like a more conquerable mountain. I am not sure how my grades will actually end up (hopefully all passing...what happened to being scared of not getting an A? When did 'C' become a goal?) but I am not worried.

I don't know how it works: I worry a lot, but I'm not really a worrier. I think the fact that I can't really continue to worry about something for a long time causes me to consistently re-worry about things. I don't know if that makes sense.

So here's the breakdown:

Tonight (Tuesday): Write take-home final exam (4 questions, not very hard looking) for Phonetics.
Wednesday: Last day of classes, turn in Final I wrote the night before.
Thursday: Lost & The Office (HECK YES!)...plus, maybe some writing of a 10-pg paper
Friday: Writing that 10-pg paper I said I was going to write the day before. Submit it online by midnight.
Saturday: Nothing but sleeping-in and hanging-out (and other present participles with hyphenated prepositions)
Sunday: Church, God-Time, Small-Group, Writing a 15-page paper
Monday: Turning in 15-page paper. Writing another 15 page paper
Tuesday: Continuing to write that 15 page paper....and procrastinating
Wednesday: 7h30 Final Exam for my students, then lots of grading, then turning in that last paper and I'm done.

So it seems like alot...and it is...but it'll all work out.

w00t.

Content.

2008-04-21T00:55:00.002-05:00

I'm feeling oddly positive.

But that's ok.

I've finished my last powerpoint presentation for this semester. (Yes!)

I have three more days of school and a lot to do in those days. But I'm feeling ok about it all. The three final paper, two exams, 75 compositions to grade, and 25 exams to grade seem like an actually conquerable mountain.

So...yay. That's good.

I had a good weekend. Busy, but it was good. AFAC went well and it was a great cause. Now I know what people are talking about since I wasn't at the last one. I hope we do another one in the fall. Saturday was also quite enjoyable with art gallery opening and hanginging out with awesome people. Today was kind of a personal day. Much needed and I got some stuff done for school. It was good.

So now, I'm (re-)watching the last episode of The Office and ready to go to bed content.

:)

This works on so many levels right now.

2008-04-17T16:04:00.002-05:00

Freedom is a powerful thing.

But it comes with a price.

One must ask oneself: is freedom worth the price? Is it possible to sacrifice only a little for some freedom and still be content? Or are we made as human beings to desire pure freedom?

I think pure freedom might scare us.

But man, it sounds wonderful.

Pensive.

2008-04-14T21:24:00.003-05:00

So I know I have 5 pages to write tonight, but I can't seem to get started. So I am going to procrastinate further by writing a blog entry. Don't you feel special.

Random thoughts currently going through my head:

I bought new deodorant yesterday. It is a scent i have never tried before. I don't know if I like it.
Sometimes I wish I had a laptop, sometimes I'm glad I have a desktop. Too bad I can't have both? lol
I have very little due this week (one presentation), but I am behind on a few things, so this week feels really busy.
The semester is almost over, Hallelujah.
My friends in Gainesville are awesome. How did I come to deserve them? Wait, I don't. But that's cool that they are my friends anyway.
I have this desire to be purely honest with everyone about everything. But I'm afraid it will come back and kick me in the arse.
It's crazy the differences your life can be in after just one year. I wonder what the differences will be next year?

"Arrache-moi la tête, que je ne puisse savoir."

Weekend

2008-04-11T15:09:00.003-05:00

Whew.

So this week is over. Time for the weekend. My birthday was Wednesday, but it feels more like today (Friday) is my birthday. I'm going out to eat with some friends, and then there's a party. It should be fun. :) I'm excited.

Another good thing I found about today, apparently, 2nd year MA students get paid .5 full time instead of .3 full time. This means that I get an extra 5000$ next year for teaching. Horray! This will be nice, since money has been quite tight recently. It's nice to have that little cushion...especially since I'm probably going to have to move after graduation and that's going to cost a pretty penny....

This weekend I have 5 short papers to write, a bibliography, and various projects I need to start/continue working on for next week. Oi.

I've also got to send my taxes in. I have them, I just keep forgetting to mail them in....

Oh, and I got into a class I didn't think I'd be able to take. Horray! Next semester should rock.

The 12 days between the end of the semester and the beginning of Summer A are going to be glorious.

Shower thoughts

2008-04-08T10:16:00.004-05:00

All of my random deep thoughts come up either in the shower, while driving, or over coffee with a good friend.

Alright, so here's the thought; what do you think? :

If science is defined as an empiral study that uses a "method of discovering knowledge about the natural world based in making falsifiable predictions, testing them empirically, and developing peer-reviewed theories that best explain the known data" (Dictionary via Ninja Words)

And if faith is defined by "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." or "the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; [something that] gives us assurance about things we cannot see." (Hebrews 1:11, NIV, NLT)

Then all the effort that goes into trying to prove God's existance or Christianity or anything else as such...is it all in vain? Is it actually going against what we need to be doing--just having faith? Can they coexist side by side?

What are your thoughts? Seriously. I'm curious.

Essentially, it was ridiculous.

2008-04-07T17:13:00.003-05:00

I think this bout of sickness is nearing it's end. That is good. It surely sucked.

The budget for Paris got bumped up a bit. Only 700$...but hey, that's 700 more dollars.

I think my dad might be able to score me a flight with some of his frequent flier miles. It won't be the most luxurious or direct flight...but it will be free. That's all I could ask. I am super appreciative.

I have a lot less due this week. Next week will make up for it by killing me. Such is life. I'm going to enjoy this week though.

I saw a ridiculously hilarious movie this past weekend after spending some ridicuously awesome time with some ridiculously amazing people.

"Oh, so THAT'S why he talks so much!!"

2008-03-28T15:06:00.005-05:00

Today has been good.

I woke up early enough to see dew on my car (I don't even remember the last time I was up that early without having been awake through the night). Had some great conversation on a trip up to Live Oak with Mary. Grandparents, driving habits, snow birds, future plans. Good stuff.

Took a phonetics test on spectrograms. Basically I had to learn how to read this:

It says happy birthday. Didn't see it? Yeah, neither do I. But whatever. That test is over and I actually think I did ok on it.

Then I had lunch with Matt. Food and more good conversation. Blogs (Past and Present), Racism, life in general. All very good.

None of these conversations seem to last long enough, though. I think I just really enjoy getting to know people and their lives and their thoughts and their experiences. Someone to bounce ideas off of, to get ideas from, to learn from, to help them in their problems, to vent to, to allow them to vent, to help refine them and to refine yourself.

So it's been a good day. And the day's not over yet! (Huzzah's all around!) My day will include a nap, possibly some good reading, some good Asian cuisine with some awesome people, and who knows what else. More conversation? You bet. Will it be awesome? Undoubtedly.

These rules are made to break and these walls are built to fall...

2008-03-26T14:55:00.003-05:00

I don't know what to think about this past week. My mind has been everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. I've felt pushed and pulled in various directions. I've been dreaming like crazy. I never dream. Well, very very seldomly. Normally if I dream once a quarter, it's a big deal. This month I can recount at least 10 different times I've dreamt. I'm not sure what that means. My mind's been in overdrive and but with nothing coming from it. I feel insomniac, but I am getting more than enough sleep. This week has felt like a huge burden on my shoulders, and I realize that this week has been nothing compared to what next week shall bring.

I did find out I am for sure going to Paris this summer, though. Yay for that.

But was I ever sure to begin with?

2008-03-24T01:51:00.003-05:00

Going to bed at 3 am with a maelstrom of emotions going through my mind. Frustration, Confusion, Desire, Longing, Curiosity, Fear, Worry, Reverence, and others that don't fit into nice little lexical categories.

I'm not sure what to think anymore.

11 hours, and this is all I could come up with?

2008-03-22T01:53:00.000-05:00

Thoughts going through my head at the moment:

When you tell your students for three days that you are going to have a quiz, you tell them what it is on, and you give them plenty of indication that they should actually study, how come they suddenly decide that they don't know anything and they shouldn't study and should complain constantly about the quiz because I am being unfair with this quiz. Umm...didn't I inform you adequately? Answer: Yes.
This morning in the shower (why do ideas always come in the shower?) I think I realized a reason what kind of church I really want to go to. I think why I like the way my church back in Roswell was when I was a kid is because it seemed like everyone had a job, everyone was so close. We actually were a community. I could elaborate more, but I
I lost my red pen for grading. I liked that pen. Now I have to grade in blue. Who does that?
Yesterday must have been the day of talking to people you had relatively lost contact with. I had some unexpected texts and made an unexpected phone call. It was good to catch up with one friend, the other...well we didn't really catch up.
I've felt disheartened every once in a while about teaching French class. It's kind of frustrating.
I can't seem to figure out what God wants me to do. I am trying to not have my will override his, and to discern which is which...but I am not succeeding.
I had way more things to say, but they did not make it to this entry which was started at 4pm and ended at 3am.

Reflective...sorta.

2008-03-18T00:40:00.003-05:00

Spring Break was enjoyable. I cleaned my house entirely and got some things done that needed to be done. I also did a lot of sleeping. That was lovely. Hung out with some friends (sometimes til early hours of the morning) which was nice. I really want to spend more quality time with people. Get to know people better.

Nothing really productive school-related happened despite my best intentions, but I'm not sure I really expected anything productive to actually happen.

I also spent part of it in Atlanta hanging out with my parents and some old friends. It was really good to hang out with Michael and Kathryn, Drew and Nicole...but it wasn't nearly enough time. I also enjoyed being at home and having free food and time with my parents. None of it really lasted as long as I would have liked. But that's just the way things are.

I have felt really weird all day. I'm not sure why. Mentally/Emotionally I've just been all over the place. I want to expand upon this but I don't know how.

Woah. Something I didn't realize until just now: I am in the white pages under my own name. How weird is that? Another reason why I'm an adult, I suppose, lol.

It evens out

2008-03-05T12:16:00.006-05:00

Today, so far, has been a mixture of emotions. A combinations of unusual highs and frustrating lows that have combined to balance me out somewhat.

For one, I found out yesterday that I am 99% sure I am going to Paris this summer. Which is awesome. To spend some 6 weeks teaching kids French (something I love to do, regardless of how dorky it may be), visiting the land of baguettes and escargot, la Seine and le Canal Saint-Martin, the Eiffel Tower and cobblestoned streets, the cafés and the architecture, the sights and sounds and smells and tastes and feel of that city is just kinda awesome, in my book.

I was also given an opportunity to teach over the Summer at UF. What an awesome combination, non? Unfortunately, the same half of the summer they want me at UF, they want me in Paris. Paris pays more, but costs more. Ideally (and kind of budget-wise) I need to teach half the summer at UF and half in Paris. Which means switching with one of the two people who are teaching the first half. I contacted one of them yesterday? No such luck. She can't switch because she is graduating afterwards. The other one? She really really really really prefers to teach that summer since her kids are still in school and then they would have the same time off in the second half of the summer instead of her kids being in school when she's not and vice-versa. I think she is my only hope though?

I woke up this morning actually quite happy. Perhaps it was the fact that I went to bed before midnight (woah!)? I don't know what the reason, exactly, but I just was quite happy. Unfortunately, this happiness led to me being late to school. Not good. It was only by 15 minutes, but still.

The weather this morning (er...late morning, I'm not sure what mornings are like anymore, lol) was kinda nice and a song I'm coming to like more and more came on randomly in my CD player on the way to school.

I also read my Bible for the first time in a while. I've been kinda slack in that area as of late because, well, I had not been getting much out of it before...I felt like I was reading because it was what I was 'supposed to do' but I got nothing out of it. I wanted to, I prayed for it to, but I just didn't get anything from it. But I felt like I should try a bit again, I read some, prayed for my understanding and for God to speak to me through it, read some more. I'm not sure if I got anything out of it or not. Perhaps.... But I think I'll try for a bit longer.

I had another thing to say but I forgot what. Oh well, I need to go to class anyway.

These are my hansd, these are my faults, these are my plans, and these are my nasty little thoughts...

I think I'm officially on Hawaiian Time....

2008-03-03T01:48:00.003-05:00

So I am very much thrown off with my sleep schedule now. After being up until around 6am the past two nights, I am not getting a good night's rest tonight, I can just tell. This weekend was full of unproductivty and awesomeness. I can't even remember all that happened this weekend. Friday night was Happy New Month chez Kyla. I got to play with legos and Caleb D. It was awesome. I also got to enjoy some good times with some awesome people. We should do this again next month :p

Saturday was a day of sleeping in and reading. I did a lot of reading for fun and enjoyed that. I also went out to Berto's Art show closing. It was also pretty awesome. Followed by a surprisingly good movie (Blood Diamond) and surprisingly confusing movie (The Darhjeeling Limited). I think at the end when Aux Champs Elysées came on for the credits music, I just about burst out laughing (waking up two awesome ladies that had fallen asleep watching the movie). Seriously? Seriously.

Sunday was Kristi's birthday surpriseness and some homework. I wish I could have come up with a song in time to get it on Kristi's birthday CD. It is a pretty awesome CD (for a pretty awesome person). I also spent some time on SimCity....probably not that productive. I got a great phone call from Jamie telling me that he is ENGAGED! Holy crap, yes! Apparently Meghan popped the question today and they are getting married. Details not hashed out yet (particularly the "we have different citizenships" problem)...but this means that a) one of my best friends is getting married and b) I get to take another trip to Washington State. Sweet. I guess I should start saving now.

I was slightly bummed before I wrote this entry about how my life is going so incredibly not where I thought I would be going (and not where I want it to go?) ...but after writing this entry to sum up the weekend, I don't want to dwell on the blah-ness.

Alright, it's off to bed.......

......maybe. lol.

Mid-term

2008-02-27T21:00:00.003-05:00

This week has been a week of semi-productivity. I'm not completely neglecting anything, yet I'm not completely engulfed by a massive amount of responsibility. I'm just kinda gliding through this week. It feels kinda like Friday, but it's actually only Wednesday.

I'm enjoying teaching my students, as nearly always. I'm kinda ignoring the book a bit and focusing on just kinda teaching them. I think it is working out well. I even graded about 90% of their tests yesterday. Which is good because I already have 50 compositions I'm behind on grading. Oi. I'll get to them eventually. I had them do something very different for homework tonight. I hope it works out well and that they enjoy and learn from it.

I had a mid-term last week that I really bombed. D+. It's probably the lowest I've ever gotten on something in GradSchool...yet, I'm not as worried about this class as I was about my literature classes last semester. I am really not learning anything in this class...my interest is also way low because this class is not actually applicable to my future studies or my future career. The only motivation for this class is not failing...and that's a horrible motivation (albeit valid).

Sidenote: Albeit is a very cool word.

I have another mid-term tomorrow in another class (obviously), but I have no motivation to study for it. I'm not nearly as worried, but I really should look at some of this stuff. It's only 9PM. I have a few hours before I should go to bed. I have learned far more in this class than in the aforementioned one though.

My phonetics class doesn't have a midterm, but it's really cool. It's actually turned into physics and maths at this point, which--while I don't completely love maths--I am good at maths and can easily understand it. The physics of language is just cool.

Finally, I should probably find something to do for Spring Break. Maybe I can find a ridiculously cheap flight to somewhere or gather up some people for a road trip. Although, that will be hard for those friends of mine who don't have a spring break or not the same weekend. Ah well, we'll see, I suppose.

Apparently Five (or six...depending on how you want to look at it).

2008-02-24T23:37:00.006-05:00

So I have gotten word about some of the stuff I'm going to be doing this summer.

I applied way back in the middle of January for teaching over the summer here at UF. I figure, I should probably find a job since I'm going to live here over the summer and I have 'real world' expenses. UF has two summer semesters, both about 7 weeks long. I was assigned to teach Summer B (July to Mid-August). I also applied two weeks ago for a position to teach French in Paris this summer. It would be held Mid-June to the end of July. I am still waiting to hear about that position this summer (hopefully sometime this next week). If I get in--which I hear from my 'secret sources' that I am up there as far as candidates go--then I'm going to hopefully try and switch teaching Summer B to Summer A (May to mid-June). Which means that my summer will be pretty full, but it will also be amazing. And I will have a steady flow of income and actually end up coming out slightly richer (which will be nice since I'm living pretty much paycheck to paycheck at this point...a little more financial security is always nice...for emergencies and such). Plus it will just be an awesome experience.

Anyway, other than that things are going relatively well in my life. I mean, I could complain (we could always find things to complain about) but I shouldn't complain. I've been really lucky and blessed over the past few months.

[Maybe I should tackle one of those things I said I would write about....ok, here goes]

As many of you know there are, in various languages, different ways to say "you". There is a familiar version (French: tu, Spanish: tú, etc.) and a formal version (French: vous, Spanish: vosotros/Usted, etc.) Because I speak French quite a lot throughout the day and I often find myself thinking in French and therefore praying in French, I wonder how I should address God. I mean, the almighty creater of the universe you would think should receive the upmost formality as possible--vous is the obvious choice. However, he is my father, my
Αββα, my אבא, so shouldn't I refer to him as tu? It's such a big deal in the French language and culture to use the right term and I think I just never knew which one. What if it applies in both ways?

Anyway, one day when I wasn't even thinking about it, I found myself on wikipedia (Quelle surprise!) and found out that many languages have two words for "you" including English. It turns out that English--back in the day--used to have a familiar and formal version of 'you'. I, honestly, had no idea.

It seems that back in the days of Thou and Thy these words were, in fact, the familiar versions of "you"; You and your were actually more formal. So when the King James version was being penned back in the ages of...well, King James, they realized that the all three, the Greek, Aramaic, and Hebrew referenced God in a very familiar way...not distanced at all from his people as a more formal tone would suggest. We think of the KJV having a very formal tone because Thee and Thou and Thine and Thy all seem very archaic and formal to us, but they are actually showing a more closeness with our God.

I dunno, I thought that was really interesting, so I thought I'd share.

Man, how many languages can I put in one entry? lol...

Outward Emotions

2008-02-20T17:55:00.003-05:00

So you know how some days you act a little different because you're sad or angry or frustrated or super happy or scared or whatever. And sometimes people notice it and ask you "hey, what's going on? Why are you happy/sad/scared/frustrated/angry/otheremotionalresponse?"

What happens when it's just a regular normal day--I'm not super happy or frustrated or anything--but about half of my students ask me what's wrong? Are they seeing something I'm not?

Weird.

My mind is a MACHINE!

2008-02-19T19:31:00.002-05:00

My mind has been thinking more than recently. I've got about four of God's special memory enhancers (Post-It Notes) on my desk with things that have come to my head and ideas or thoughts or curiosities that I want to explore. Not all in the blogosphere necessarily, but they are out there.

So in an effort to sort of clean off my desk and organize things a bit, here are where my thoughts have lead recently:

Worthship vs. Worship
There's a lunar eclipse on the 20th (that's tomorrow) we should celebrate it--not that we're pagan, but because it'd be cool.
I like that Matchbox 20 came back together and they have a new song I like.
Things that I mentioned in talking with Micah last night about replacements of identites and how to move on in life.
Sweating the small stuff and having your priorities in order and understanding what's actually small
The path of least resistance, that bloody Robert Frost poem, and God's plan for us.
Giving all your mind, strength, heart, soul, SELF to God.
The usage of Thou and Thy in the KJV and my thoughts on it + How to pray in French (Yes, they are related, oddly enough).
What the crap am I going to do this summer???

So yes, those are the thoughts in myh ead. One day I hope to tackle them all. Hopefully soon.

As far as the last one, I do have some new information. I can teach at UF for half of the summer but it seems as if I'm getting paid squat for it (about 100$ a week....seriously). If anyone has any supplimentary jobs I could do this summer...I'd love to hear them. I'll do data entry, picture tagging, lawn mowing, toilet cleaning, or whatever you would like me to do. If it pays and I'm available, I'll probably do it.

I haven't heard back from Paris yet. Hopefully soon, but probably going to be a few weeks yet. I'd like to get my summer plans a bit more nailed down, really...ah well.

The Circle of Life is Shaped Like A Heart

2008-02-14T18:37:00.000-05:00

It is a sad day.

Yes, today of all days--the day of love, the day of happiness, the day of wolf-fertility, the day of fat babies with sharp pointy weapons--something tragic has occured.

A once beloved fish has passed away from this world and has gone to wherever fish go after they die.

He was an incredible fish. Defying all odds to survive moving nearly 550 miles in a car on four different occaisions, living in a very small enclosure, and breathing(?) the wonderful different tap waters of these four places. He apparently survived in these harsh conditions nearly one and a half years from his release from the hands of blue (two by two).

R.I.P., Bloop.

You shall be missed.

Mindless Musings

2008-02-10T23:02:00.000-05:00

I was going to open this entry up by saying "Lots of thoughts on my mind, like always" and then I realized...wait...if I always have lots of thoughts on my mind, then why do I have to start an entry telling everyone this? Well, I guess I don't. But I just did. Hurm.

Anyway,

I've been finding myself thinking about a lot of things and wanting to get them off my chest. Well, not really get them off my chest as much as just throw the idea out there and talk it through with someone. Unfortnately, I've fallen out of contact with a lot of my friends. In fact, when I call pretty much any of my friends in the ATL area I feel like I'm intruding on their new lives. They have spouses, real-world jobs, and lives that don't involve me. I feel kinda left behind in the single college-student scene. I know they would protest, but their problems are so different than mine now, I feel like I got stuck in the past.

It's hard when you have thoughts you're ashamed of but can't get out of your mind. Even things that are incredibly ridiculous and no one would care...the shame that I even think of them makes me not want to share it...regardless of the validity of my thoughts. I used to have some friends where i felt comfortable sharing this stuff...where I didn't feel judged....where I could tell people things in confidence and they genuinely cared and wouldn't bat an eye or tell a soul. What happened? I guess that's all part of growing up.

I hurt for my family who is dealing with how to deal with my grandfather. I hurt for my grandfather.

I really appreciate my parents. I'm not sure I could give my children the same kind of awesome upbringing that I really appreciate like they did.

I have days where I'm comfortable with who I am and days where I regret every decision I've made. Ha, how bi-polar sounding.

I made both an A on my final paper in that class I had to rewrite the paper in as well as an A in the class. This makes me quite happy. Although part of me wonders if I just got it out of pity.

I've spent the past 10 years studying French and I still don't think I've got it all down. I feel kinda like a failure.

I seem to write a lot of posts in bullet-points. That's relaly how my mind works, though.

Last week I had two different verses that randomly popped into my head. It's weird, I have been horrible at memorizing verses since forever. But these just popped into my head out of nowhere while I was trying to fall asleep. The first was "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Mark 12:28-30) and I have since forgotten the second. I've got lots of thoughts brewing about these two verses, maybe one day i'll get them out for the world to hear.

The path of least resistance. This concept confuses me. I understand it by definition, but the practical implications of it both in this world and outside make me confused. Kinda like being who you are but also changing what's wrong with you. Perhaps something again to address another day.

I've got a lot more but I'm self-conscious about putting them on the internet. (How dumb am I?)

Besides, this is so long no one is going to read it anyway.

Oh yeah? Well, take that!

2008-02-02T17:19:00.000-05:00

Lots of thoughts running through my head. Some good. Some bad. Some not easily placeable into such indescript categories as "good" and "bad".

The past week was ridiculously busy as far as school goes. I had a test, a presentation, a paper, various homeworks, and loads of grading and teaching-related stress. It's over (for the most part) though, now. So that's good.

I found out my favourite radio station back home is no longer in existance. Apparently no one likes alternative/rock music in Atlanta anymore but the Top 40, Rap, and R&B are, of course, amazingly popular. Bum. They really were a good station--locally owned, played a good mix of music, and gave a lot of new bands a chance when no one else would. I guess it really doesn't matter much since I don't live there anymore. But they were a large part of my (musical) life from 1998 to 2007. Ah well.

I feel like I'm changing in Gainesville, and I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. I don't think I like it though.

I'd give anything for a good D&M right now, for realz.

Every once in a while my thoughts wander off to old friends I've lost--well not lost, but extremely diminished--contact with. What happened?

Winter is no longer here in Florida. We're back to 70+ degree weather. RIP Winter of '07-'08.

EmailCapsules.com

2008-01-22T18:35:00.000-05:00

I received an e-mail today. It read the following:

Dear Future Version of Me,
on today you were bored. yup. what a surprise. You are not sure whether you want to go to Graduate School or if you want to teach. You are a bit stressed about teaching at Rome High but you are even more stressed about your Education Portfolio and even MORE stressed about Thesis work. It\'s crazy.
Written at Mon Jan 22, 2007

I remember when I wrote this. A year ago, I found this website that allows you to send an e-mail to anyone else on a specific date/time in the future.

It's crazy how things have changed.

Randomness on a Spoon

2008-01-16T01:13:00.000-05:00

There's a lot of things going through my mind. Not all of which will end up in this late-night blog entry because I have neither the time nor the energy nor the mental capacity to expel all of those tonight.
...
I had a good talk with Drew last Friday. We spent pretty much from 3 til 7:30 just talking about all sorts of stuff. Girls and God, mainly. The two G's. He made some good comments and he's just genuinely fun to hang out with. I hope I get to know that guy even better while I'm here.
...
Talking with Drew made me realize two things: I love my Gainesville people, but I really do miss my guys back home. Also...I think there are a few things I'm pretty much never going to get over and just going to have to live with. So, I guess I should get over getting over them. Ridiculous.
...
There is way more drama in Gainesville than I realized. I thought we left drama behind in middle school. I don't remember Berry being this dramatic.
...
My life should be less of an open book.
...
I need to learn the art of shutting up and talking less.
...
I am an adult now, it's about time I start acting like one.
...
I am not artsy, nor am I sporty, I fit in with neither crowd. Sweet. I'm going to make my own crowd called "People similar to or vaguely wanting to hang out with Matt"
...
The past may be over, but it can haunt you forever. It's still an irrevocable part of who you are. It has helped mold you into the person that you are today.
...
I am a flawed individual. I have come to terms with this. But is it the flaws that make me unique in who I am, or should I try and replace these flaws and fix them with something that is deemed more conducive to living (and loving) well.
...
If I am open and honest with others, I'd like to hope that others will be open and honest with me. It would make things a lot easier, in my mind...but getting us all on the same level is difficult (impossible?) and just ends up hurting people.
...
Sometimes I think things are difficult, but then I realize I am really doing fine compared to others so I shouldn't complain...and then I realize that the comparison doesn't make things seem that much easier, now I just feel bad about complaining.

A New Year; A New Me?

2008-01-03T17:11:00.000-05:00

It's finally cold in Florida. I love it.

Yesterday was pretty much a wash. In fact, if someone were to ask me what I did on the 2nd, I'm not sure I could tell them. Not because I was drunk out of my mind or in a parallel universe...those two things would have been much more interesting. Instead, I woke up late after going to bed around 6am, did some stuff around the house, played Sim City 4, and went to bed early. How boring.

I suppose it was just a contrast to the entire awesomeness of the previous few days. Friends getting married, seeing old friends, seeing new friends, combining worlds, having a party of nearly 25 people at my house, enjoying hanging out with people, etc. etc. etc.

I'll be ready to have some scheduled goodness when school starts. I'm glad for a break, but I'll be glad to start back up teaching and I guess learning too, lol.

I had way more interesting things to say, but I'm not sure they are completely formulated. So to finish this out, I'll just sum up some of the last year. Sure, it's cliché...but well, whatever.

January: I had a New Year's Eve Party at my parents' house with most of my closest friends from Atlanta. I had sent out all my grad school applications but had no idea where I would be going or what I'd be doing. Micah and Rachel had just gotten officially together and I pretty much just hung out with Jenni because all my other friends had disappeared in their own worlds. Even though I liked hanging out with her, she really messed with my head.

February: I was still teaching high school French and really enjoying it. Got to know Maggie a bit better and planned my trip to Washington State.

March: I don't remember anything important happening. I probably started my thesis and finished off my portfolio. I slowly began to realize that Grad School was my most probable outcome after graduation

April: I spent my second spring break in Washington State. I got to visit Jamie--whom I hadn't seen for about three years--, his girlfriend Meghan, and Maggie. I had an awesome time, but found out that neither Nintendo nor UW wanted me. My dreams of living in Seattle were squashed. I still love the PNW though. I also came back from Washington really enjoying my time with Maggie and we eventually decided that, if things work out, we could hopefully get to know each other better and start dating. I also made the final decision to move to Gainesville and go to UF

May: Things between Jenni and I got more and more estranged--our friendship was getting weird. Totally confused by her "I act like I like you but I say that I don't" attitude, I started acting like a jerk to try and get her to stop (it made much more sense in my head). I finally graduated and finished with my Berry life forever. Justin and Rebecca got married. And I was OK with the fact that I wouldn't have to deal with Jenni again. Maggie and I discussed me coming up to the midwest to hang out with her and her family.

June: Becca and Cole got married. The first out of my closest friends to get married. I continued to work at my dad's place. I also became a homeowner.

July: I found a roommate for my house. I moved all of my stuff into my house and my dad's car got broken into and had a bunch of important stuff stolen. I went on a little mini-vacation to the Smoky Mountains with my family and then went up to Iowa and Nebraska with Maggie's family. I had a good time up there, but it caused some problems with Maggie's and my relationship.

August: I came back from the midwest with Maggie and we spent some time painting my apartment and hanging out. Eventually our relationship came to an end and she moved off to Miami. It was weird being in a new place and not being able to share all the new thoughts with anyone. Micah was busy with either work or Rachel stuff, Drew and Nicole were getting ready to get married, Michael and Kat are always hard to get a hold of, I really wasn't talking to Jenni anymore, and I had just broken up with Maggie and she wasn't talking to me anymore.

September: I got used to Grad School...and decided I hated it. I got used to the Gainesville crowd though and I am so very blessed to have them around. I did a lot of apologizing and forgiving.

October: Drew and Nicole got married. It was awesome. I got to hang out with some amazing people and see some amazing people get married. It was generally amazing. I also got a mini road trip going up to Kentucky to see them. It was awesome. I also realized I had to suck it up and finish at least this semester....regardless of how much I hated Grad School. I learned that Autumn in Florida sucks. Micah and Rachel started having problems but Micah and I started to renew our relationship. As much as we had our problems at the end of college, I really love that guy.

November: I got to really feel a lot more "in" this group in Gainesville. Had some rough patches in Grad School, but started to get through it. Had Thanksgiving with the family in Saint Pete and got to see UF beat FSU and UW lose to WSU....all in all, not a bad month, though.

December: Finished the first semester of grad school without totally failing, like I almost thought I would. Got to spend some time with the family, see two of the most awesome people get married, and spend some time with old friends that I love and adore. My parents got robbed (*shakes angry fist and says a few choice words*) and I had an awesome New Year's Party.

Goals for next year: Get better at talking with God, Have a more positive outlook on Grad School, Travel more, Love.

November:

Actually, I kind of hate Waffle House

2007-12-31T01:09:00.000-05:00

Many thoughts.

I'm a generally pensive kind of guy, but there are these moods I normally get in that are kind of nearly-depressing/emo/serious pensive moods that I get into about once a month or so. I like those moods though. Even though I described them rather unamiably.

Today however, is a bit different. I've just got a bunch of things running through my mind and I'm thinking about a ton of different things...but it's not quite the same. I don't know how to describe that any better....which makes it ridiculous to write in a blog, but that's just the way it is.

I haven't been very good at talking recently, nothing comes out like I want it to. They should just make a way to communicate feelings through a direct internet upload/download system or something. Life would be a lot easier.

So Mike and Kat got married this past weekend. I love that couple. I love them...both individually, and as one. I am so blessed and thankful that they are in my life. I kept telling them how excited I was and how I love those two and how awesome it was that they were married...but everytime I said it it never seemed to do justice to what I actually felt. Hurm. Words are ridiculous (which is why I spend all of my time studying them.....irony?)

I had a good long talk with Drew at the Bachelor's Party. I'm glad we got to talk. I really didn't get to know him that well until my last two years of college and really my last year of college. But I've really come to love him and Nicole (his wife). It's really kind of a shame that our lives are splitting in so many directions. We're trying to make sure we spend a good amount of time with each other at least once a year.

It was crazy seeing the mass of people at the wedding and pre-wedding festivities that I hadn't seen in ages. So this is what growing up is like. Crazy.

I'm pretty sure that Mike, Drew, and Micah (and their respective spouses/future-spouses) and I should know each other for the rest of our lives and keep in contact. These people are amazing.

It's weird that I've traveresed three different worlds in the past three days. Being with my parents and family completely without interaction with the outside world for a few days was good, I do love my family. Then I went and saw all of my best friends from college and my best friend get married to his beautiful and wonderful wife. And it was a kind of surreal experience in many ways. Then I came to Gainesville, my new home, and hung out with nearly everyone I know here and love here.

And now, some random thoughts, as that seems to be the trend:
-I talked way too much about emotions in this post, I blame it on the surge of estrogen I've been exposed to in the past few days.

-I definitely need to learn when to stop talking. I have told Mary far too much.

-There are still some things that my mind has not fully found closure on. That bugs me.

-God is ridiculous.

-I've been using the word ridiculous way too much in the past few months.

-I'm not sure how I feel about my party planning being hijacked by my ex-girlfriend. It doesn't really bother me, it just seems weird.

-I need to fly somewhere far away. Just for a bit.

-I'm glad that my electric bill is for the first time under 90$...in fact, a lot less.

-I am not excited to write this paper in the next few days.

-I got a calendar with pictures of Paris and a typography book from Jamie for Christmas. Yes, I'm a dork, but it's totally awesome.

-I also got a lot of practical stuff for Christmas, which is fine by me, I'm glad to get them.

-I was sad that I was not able to be as giving because of financial means this Christmas.

-I am saddened for a friend of mine whom I wish I could be there for more, because I know he needs it.

-I'm trying to learn to have Gainesville be my home...even if it's just a home for right now.

-Love is amazing.

-There are days when I really can't wait to be with the one I'm going to marry. And there are others where I think it's probably never going to happen. I've been doing better at thinking less.

-Still a lot of unanswered questions. I think most of these will probably stay that way until the Big Guy decides to let us all in on His secrets.

-I miss my old church...or what I nostalgically remember my old church being when I was younger.

-Love is hard.

-This post is way too long and scattered (smothered, covered, and capped).

The directions this blog entry will go in are astounding...

2007-12-19T23:37:00.000-05:00

I guess I still harbor some resentment.

I didn't really think I did. And it's really not a big deal. It could be much worse. I just hadn't really thought about it for a while.

I wish there was a way to suck out all of your thoughts so you could attain some sort of 'inner peace' for just a few minutes or an hour, maybe. Although, it probably wouldn't be as nice as it sounds. And anyway, you wouldn't be able to enjoy the absence of thoughts because you had no thoughts to remember that absence....oh the paradoxes...

I'm going home tomorrow. Haven't been home in a while. I'll enjoy being with my family and relaxing. Even though my mom had to go out and buy all our presents again ::mumbles something inappropriate:: and even though I have to rewrite an entire 15 page French essay during that time, I'm still going to enjoy this.

Mike and Kat get married in like ten days. It's got to be a crazy-nervous-anxious-exciting time for them. I know I would be. I'm really excited for them, I know they've been waiting for this for a long time.

I love that my friends are getting married and going off and having their own lives. It's exciting and new and awesome. I guess It's sort of selfish, but even though I'm excited for them, it makes me sad a little bit. It's the end of an era. They have left the realms of singlehood where they were able to just think about themselves and not have two brains making one decision (if that makes sense). So, in the same way, my relationship with them will change. I mean, not drastically, we're still going to be good friends--and I am still good friends with my other married friends--but it's a different kind of friendship and such...and you can't ever get that back.
All that to say, I'm still very excited for my friends and even though our relationships will change to some degree, that's kind of the way life goes, so yeah...

I will now list random thoughts going through my head right now (because there are oh-so-many):
--I just found the song "Let's Dance To Joy Division" by The Wombats. It's pretty cool. You should check it out.
--I am tired of thinking about women. Not that I want to change to thinking about men, lol.
--I can't decide what direction God wants me to go in.
--I hate that money is so important for living.
--Why am I getting a degree in something ridiculous?
--Living in the world without being of it is hard.
--I miss being in love. I think I forgot what it was like.
--Have I actually ever really been in love? Maybe not. Who knows.
--What is love? (Baby don't hurt me.)
--I still have a lot of packing to do (read: all of it)
--Part of me wishes I was easier at cutting ties with people.
--What is an adult, anyway?
--I've lost 20 pounds this semester. I don't feel like I have though.
--I hate that I have to write a paper over this break.
--I hate that making a choice in life is leaving behind all of the other options to never see them again. I've never been good with decisions. I want to try everything. This is a problem.
--I should get a better sleep pattern, but I don't really want to. (Hence why I am wide awake ad 12:15 and probably will be til 3 or 4 am)
--I should make this list end soon or people will stop reading this entry. (Why do I care if people read this?)

[grrrr]

2007-12-12T17:50:00.001-05:00

DAMNIT!

8 freaking years....

I am so pissed at myself.

[mergh]

2007-12-10T09:01:00.000-05:00

Awesome.

Just freaking great.

After my night of tossing and turning and getting maybe somewhere around 4-5 hours of sleep, I get a call from my mother with her crying telling me that my parents house was robbed while they were on vacation.

This sucks in so many ways.

I can't get to sleep, I think about the implications....

2007-12-10T03:05:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here at my computer, eyes wide open, staring at the white glow of my monitor and wondering why in the world I am up at 3am.

It would be reasonable to assume that I am awake because I've been up writing a paper.

Reasonable, but incorrect.

I actually finished my paper that is due tomorrow...er...later today at around 10 or 11pm. I've indulged in a little television and decided I would get to bed around midnight or 1.

After tossing and turning for a few hours, I'm still wide awake and have no idea why. Last time I had coffee was nearly 10 hours ago if not more. I'm tired. My head hurts. And all I want to do is go to bed and sleep.

But I can't.

Insomnia wins again!

blast.

well at least in three and a half days time I'll be done with my first semester of Graduate school, 1/4 of it down, 3/4 left. Already a bit of a milestone that I'm kinda proud of (that is, depending on my grades :S)

Give me a chance to hold on...

2007-12-03T16:34:00.000-05:00

Today I woke up after fifteen some odd hours of sleep. Not good you feel greatly rested sleep, but Nyquil and sickness-induced stupor that leaves you not wanting more sleep or to be awake. Which leaves me where?

Well right here, writing this blog entry in an effort to avoid even moreso doing these essays that are slowly becoming more and more pressing. I am nowhere near as far along as I would like, but that is ok. I will persevere. (Must believe this...)

The photo in this entry is the one that I think came out the best from the UF PhotoVentureGanza. I wish I knew a better way to frame it, I couldn't find a sort of photoshopping frame that I liked around it so it is now, as is.

Anyway, I'm off to do some more work (woo!) Any thoughts, notes, love, prayers, chicken soup, warm chocolate chip cookies, and offers for writing two 15-page French Papers on ~~something I could care less about~~ really interesting topics are greatly appreciated.

--M

P.S. In an ongoing theme of me complaining about weather in Florida. It is now the 3rd of December and it is not forcasted to have a high not in the 70s for the next 10 days. How depressing.

Good bunch

2007-11-27T00:29:00.000-05:00

I had some people over at my house for a movie. It was awesome. To all of you who came, I appreciate it. I enjoyed it immensely.

I hope that people aren't too busy after school is out. I'd really like to get to know some of these people even better. I've found an amazing bunch.

I did very little related to school today. I'm easing myself back in from the anti-school break I had. I hope to God that next semester will go better.

Tomorrow is a day full of OPIs (Oral Proficiency Interviews) and classes plus a bunch of research prep for my two papers. Oi. Not looking forward to those.

Alright, I should sleep.

I am thankful. It may not always show, but I am.

2007-11-25T21:23:00.000-05:00

I'm back.

Thanksgiving Break was not bad. I had five whole days without thinking about school for more than 30 minutes total. I am glad of that. However, with the looming stress of finals week from both the giving and receiving end, it was hard to destress. I'll enjoy Christmas break much more, I think.

To sum up this Thanksgiving: lots of food, seriously, lots; lots of family as well; ridiculous heat for the end of November; UF vs FSU (w00t!); UW vs WSU (boo!); visits with friends; kid cousins; cousins growing up; ridiculous amount of travelling on I-275; SceneIt (I am awesome); and Fort De Soto Park.

And now I have returned to my nice clean house. I didn't really want to do it at the time, but I'm glad that I got all of my clothes clean and the house tidied up before I left. It's nice to come home to a clean house.

There have been loads of things going through my mind recently. I sometimes wish I thought more slowly or had an awesome memory so I could eventually write all my thoughts down. Right now if I were to write it all down I'd run out of paper and couldn't get all my thoughts out before I was gone and moving on to a different thought.

And now I'm sounding senseless.

There are a lot of people here in Gainesville that I've met in the past few months. Some of them I really would like to get to know better. I think I'm going to try and make more of an effort in the next few months to hang out and get to know these people more.

One thing I miss about college life is hanging out at midnight, 2 am, whenever, and suddenly having conversations about anything and everything, musing, philosophizing, throwing out ideas, etc....

I think that's it for tonight. This week is going to be a doozy.

Muet

2007-11-04T22:38:00.000-05:00

It's crazy...how you can have so much going through your head and you think, hey, maybe I'll write this down in a blog somewhere...

Then you get down to writing an entry...and your head fully empties. Well, not actually. My head is still full...it just spins in circles in my head with no outlet, and now that I am trying to give it an outlet, I don't know what to do.

Hurm.

Emotion doesn't have words.

Doesn't that suck? lol.

When do you stop caring?

2007-10-24T22:21:00.000-05:00

OK, so I know that you never really should stop caring, but I can't think of a better way to put it briefly. As we all know, I'm not really a brief person, but the title kind of requires all of my skills in brevity to come alive and work to bring you such masterpeices as "I hate titles" and "Do I have to put a title" and "...".

Anyway, I'm getting off-topic (Can you get off-topic if you haven't even started?). I was thinking about this for a bit and I really don't know the answer. I hear people talking about having "different seasons" in life (which, honestly, I understand and believe, in some extent, the phrase...but it kinda makes me want to gag on a spoon full of cliché every time I hear it...but I'll live) and how sometimes people are in your lives for very short seasons and some for not-so-short seasons.

Well what if you are season-blind? (Or, live in Florida, where you can't tell what season it is?) I'm never really sure when to just give up on a friendship and let the inevitable pull between us take us on our seperate paths or fight for the friendship and keep it alive. Is it worth fighting to get nothing in return when you could have been putting that effort into other friendships that would continue to last and be fruitful? Is it mean/bad/immoral to stop being friends with someone if the relationship bears no fruit? At what point do you give up adding more fertilizer and just let it die on it's own? (Work with me here, I'm a metaphor-type person).

Hurm.

------------

Addendum:

I never used to be bad at making friends. I've moved so much in my life and had to forcefully give up friendships before out of sheer inability to contact. I was good at making friends. My family thinks so, my friends think so, I think so.

What has happened? I never used to be afraid of sharing myself and just being who I was in front of people? What am I afraid of? Rejection? Maybe a little, but not really.

I shouldn't be afraid to be open and honest and who I am. Something must have happened to cause me to change and be afraid. What happened to me?

----

If five-year-old Matt were to see me now, he'd be confused and disappointed.

----

I hate having two varied points in a post that I want to hear feedback on because I generally will only hear a response to one part, if any.

I shouldn't write late at night. Way too honest and way too contemplative.

They don't teach that in school.

2007-10-19T12:32:00.000-05:00

I should learn to be happy.

Thoughts of the day.

2007-10-17T12:46:00.000-05:00

Lots to do today.

I've got a presentation for my cinema class tomorrow that I have to prepare for. I guess I should watch the movie first. :P

I've got to finish grading the exams for my class and put their grades in.

I've got to get myself organized.

I *must* do laundry today. It is imperative.

I've got to think about a subject matter for my Literature Paper. I think it's going to be about Perec's Les Choses but I'm not sure, we'll see. Maybe Nadja but Surrealism is a bit scary to tackle.

How funny would it be if surrealism was a person that you could tackle. Man, I'd beat down on that geek.

Women are confusing. Which is nothing new. But once you think you are no longer confused by them, they go and pull something confusing on you. I guess they do keep me on my feet though.

God is cool. I need to get to know him better.

This list kinda deviated from it's purpose of what I have to do today to what my thoughts are.

But it's my blog so I can do what I want and you can't stop me.

I had to pay 3 bucks for parking at the St. Augustine's because the stupid commuter lot was full today. Why? who knows. Seriously, parking here sucks. I love public transportation and would use it if it was, you know, convenient and useful. RTS is none of the above.

I need a nap.

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower

2007-10-14T16:03:00.000-05:00

I realize this post might sound a little emo. My apologies.

So it's the middle of October, Autumn is in full blow. Well, it should be. I think of October as having a myriad of oranges, reds, golden browns surrounding me, a cold breeze sweeping through and occaisional gusts of wind that give you chills with the days getting cooler and the nights even colder.

There are thoughts of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Midterms, piles of raked-up leaves (ready for jumping in, much to the dismay of he who raked them), coats and sweaters coming out of the closet, college football games, contemplative moments, time with friends and family, and so much more that run through my head and are, for me, an essential part of Autumn.

I think part of the reason I've been feeling so blah recently is that I am not getting Autumn. It's like a part of my natural yearly cycle has been taken from me and I cannot find it. October in Florida is like Summer. Leaves don't change; weather does not get cooler; it's like a perpetual sunny paradise here. I guess that's why people move here and vacation here so often.

I hate it.

I need my four seasons. It's like an actual physical/mental/emotional/spiritual need.

I think I complain about living in Florida a bit too much. But seriously, this is not where I want to be.

This is not where I want to be...

Do I have to create a title?

2007-10-07T21:43:00.000-05:00

I'm not tired.

Maybe it's because I had about four cups of coffee only like 7 hours ago.

Maybe it's because I've been waking up pretty late the past couple of days.

Maybe it's because I've got a lot running through my mind.

Hurm.

It was good going to small group tonight. It's been a long time since I've had some sort of church-like community to be a part of. I miss it. I also like that I'm getting to know more people here. I feel a little weird, like I'm jumping into someone else's community, but I'm very welcomed. I guess if they don't want me they should be more forceful about it, lol.

I've been thinking about some things recently. Well mainly one thing. (Sidenote: I tend to think a lot about things and then once I've gathered my thoughts well enough--or coherently enough--I generally talk about them...but it takes time with me, I guess. I think it's frustrated people in the past, but that's just a part of who I am....) I don't know if I should be thinking about it or leaving it alone. But the thought creeps into my mind from time to time anyway....I'm not sure what to do about it.

If none of that made sense to you, don't worry, I'm not sure it made sense to me. I'm just thinking aloud (thinking on paper? digitally? Well, you get the expression, I hope).

I really want to play racquetball. Someone in this town has to play....

Titles are dumb.

2007-10-03T18:16:00.000-05:00

I need to get out of here.

I'm thinking that Friday after I teach or Saturday I might just get in the car, pick a road, and go somewhere, maybe pick a beach or something. I haven't been to a beach in over ten years.....

It's not very fun to travel by yourself, but I really just need to get out.

I made soup today. It was good.

Unfortunately, it's not soup weather. I miss soup weather. What happened to the cold?

Don't Do "Grad School"

2007-10-01T22:09:00.000-05:00

To those of you that responded to my last post, thanks. I don't think any of you wrote comments on here, but I had a few conversations about it which was nice. Not sure what people's aversions to commenting on here are. Whatever.

In other news....

TOTAL CONTRAST from yesterday, here is what I've been doing with my procrastinating recently. Yes, friends, it's that time of year when Matt would rather draw dumb pictures in MS Paint than do anything productive relating to school.

So, let me introduce....me:

Ok, so maybe I embellished a little bit, I'm not that good looking....but hey, it's my blog, so yeah.

This is what happens when Grad School enters your life.

Kids, stay in school....but only until you get your Bachelor's degree...then just say "No!" to Grad School.

Brought to you buy GSADD (Grad Students Against Destructive Decisions)

It messes with my head

2007-09-30T23:46:00.000-05:00

There's been something on my mind recently--as in the past two months or so--and I've never really been able to put it down into words. I guess now's as good a time as ever.

I don't care about the poor.

Now, please don't get me wrong. I don't mean that I despise poor people and I wish they would all die a fiery death. Nor would I immediately kick one of them in the shin if someone came up to me and said "I'm poor!" That's now what I mean at all. Let me (try to) explain...

I have so many friends who have a heart for the poor, the homeless, the afflicted--so to speak. I hear their desires to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, and generally aid the poor and downtrod. I am in awe of their desires, sometimes so strong, full of so much sympathy for these people. I have friends who go off to far away countries to bring help to the "Third World". I have friends who do incredible work in inner-cities for those underprivileged that are in our own backyards. I have friends who have great ideas and ambitions and love and hope and passion for these people.

And I find myself asking myself, What's wrong with me? Why don't I have this same passion? Should I?

I've heard and read so much about how as a follower of Jesus Christ we're supposed to love everyone and help the poor, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, etc. etc. I can have verses cited to me all day long, but I don't know. Maybe I'm messed up? Maybe I just don't get it? Maybe things haven't clicked yet (or never will)? But I don't have this passion. It's not what I care about and I'm left here wondering if I should be fighting this, if the fact that I am surrounded by so many friends and acquaintances with this passion that maybe I am supposed to have a similar passion?

But maybe it's just me? Maybe I'm just surounded by an inordinate number of people who care about the poor. Maybe that's not supposed to be something passionate for me. But then, this could be construed as moral/ethical relativism....

I don't know.

I actually came out of this post more confused than I went in and I don't think I got to clearly say what I really feel. Words never do justice.

On a different note, I felt like I just needed a day to reconnect with God. It was just and me and God day....at least, that's what it was supposed to be...it didn't really turn out anything like I wanted it to be. Kind of depressing actually...but not in a way that is easily expressed in words.

I have a lot of other thoughts running through my head, but I think I'll just leave them in there.....

Florida: Sunshine State or Humidity State?

2007-09-24T21:45:00.000-05:00

I am sick and tired of this weather.

Seriously, look at this.

The weather outlook for the next ten days is (as it has been for the past two months) either scattered or isolated showers with highs near 90 degrees and lows rarely dipping below 70.

Seriously.

And don't even get me started on the humidity.....

It should not be 70+% humidity EVERY DAY ALL DAY LONG!

Comme l'épisode de la Madelaine....

2007-09-13T11:07:00.000-05:00

It's quiet in here.

All I hear is the hum of the computer, the intense jingle the keys of this "QuietKey" Keyboard is making, and occasional whispers in the next room.

But this is quiet.

Normally, when I'm in the TA Office I am one of at least two other people in the room and we have a conversation about something. Today no one else is in here. I am able to sit and think silently alone and it is rather refreshing.

Not that I don't get enough alone time. I spend quite a bit of my time at home alone. But this is different somehow.

I'm never going back from dark roast coffee. I stopped by Einstein Bros Bagel Co. at the HUB to get a coffee because the line at Starbucks was too long (and because I was hoping for something cheaper). I spotted the Euro-French Dark Roasted Coffee and decided to give it a whirl.

Immediately, as my tongue touched the bittersweet coffee, I remembered how much I love Dark Roast.

On a completely different note, I actually enjoy reading Proust but can't seem to find the motivation to read something that someone is requiring me to read. I just don't get it.

I wish I could teach more and take less classes. Actually, if I could just teach and take the classes I wanted, I'd be ok with that too. In fact, I'd be more than OK, I'd be ecstatic. But, as they say, c'est la vie.

Awe

2007-09-02T14:07:00.000-05:00

In my room I have this huge window on the back wall. It's probably 6' x 6'. When it's rainding--or severe thunderstorming, as it is now--outside my window, I love watching the rain fall and the wind blow. Currently, it's almost like watching a light hurricane. It's kinda cool. I love watching the rain and the thunder and the lightning...I don't know what it is about it...it's intriguing, enthralling, calming...

Woah...there went the power. The room is all dark except for the faint light outside and the glow of my computer fueled by the battery backup and surge protector.

Now it's back. The incredible power of these storms...awesome.

I used to have a screened in porch when I was a little kid living down in Florida...it was huge (well, everything was huge back then) and even then, I loved watching, listening and feeling the aewsome power of thunderstorms. Here in Florida, we get a lot. I guess that's one part of Florida weather I really do enjoy.

La vie d'un étudiant avancé...

2007-08-30T20:34:00.000-05:00

I've finally got my schedule all fixed and I think, even though it will be fairly challenging, this semester will work out well. As a grad student you actually really don't have tests (life is a test enough). Instead, you have 15 page research paper in a foreign language at the end of your class and TONS of reading. I've got about 10 books to read and 10 films to watch this semester for classes. It should be interesting... I'm going to know so much (useless) information about French literature, cinema, and linguistics.

What am I doing? lol......

Literature, Television, and Java...

2007-08-29T17:40:00.001-05:00

Mmm...French roast...

I had forgotten how much I enjoyed dark roasted coffee.

Also, I know people say that coffee makes you more alert, or whatever...but for some reason, caffeine seems to have the opposite effect on me and I end up wanting to take a nap. I'm not sleep deprived...I just want a nap after my three cups of coffee.

Teaching is going well. I'm enjoying it a lot. Their first test comes up on Friday. In a way I feel that it's not really just a test of their knowledge and understanding but also a test of my skills as a teacher and if they have learned anything from me this semester or not. I guess I'll find out this weekend while grading.

I've been watching a lot of random television on the internet. Northern Exposure is actually a cool show and makes me long for random conversations about physics and religion with Micah and Michael. It makes me want to live in a cabin in Washington or Montana (I think Alaska might be a bit much). Somewhere cool and green. I've also been watching a fair bit of this French TV show called "Un gars, une fille" (A guy, a girl)...it's basically short little snippets of this married couple's life together which are generally hilarious for various reasons.

I changed my schedule (again). After finding out that I had two intense literature classes requiring me to read fourteen novels this semester (that's one per week, on average) including handouts, and two research papers ON TOP OF my teaching and my other class on linguistics (the class that I actually find MORE interesting)...I couldn't do it. I'm not a literature person; I like reading, but required reading with analyses and in depth discussions on symbolism doesn't interest me. So I dropped one of them and am taking a class on cinema. Granted, it's a lot of work too, but it only has two books and I get to see some cool films. I guess I should get started reading Proust now....

Ma raison d'être

2007-08-24T20:32:00.000-05:00

Wangaratta. Warrnambool. Traralgon. Euroa. Geelong. Werribee. Healesville. Castlemaine. Echuca. Essendon. Cranbourne.

These words may mean very little to you. But to me, they are words that remind me of a different world. A world that I once was a part of and that from time to time I am reminded of my life there over four years ago. Every once in a while I'll see a picture or hear something that sparks a nostalgic longing for my travels down under.

Villefranche-sur-Mer. Reims. Versailles. Quimper. Saint-Quentin-en-Yvelines. Bordeaux. Besançon. Argenteuil. Bagnolet.

These words provoke similar feelings that often are accompanied with souvenirs of certain smells and feelings stemming from my time in the land of wine and cheese. Those nights walking the streets of Paris and beautiful fall evenings along the Seine.

As different as those two experiences were, they remind me of one of my greatest desires in life: travelling.

I love to travel. I don't know what it is about it. Meeting new people. Seeing a world defined by a different language, culture, and mindset. A world that is full of amazing similarities and incredible differences. Realizing there are people in this world that have not grown up the same way I have, that have a different lifestyle based on different ideas of what is important. Examining these differences and realizing some of the core things that link us all together. Being in a new place and learning about what people are like there. It thrills me. It excites me. It is amazing.

assez

2007-08-22T21:04:00.000-05:00

Putain de foutu MERDE!!!

Il n'y avait pas de problemes avant...alors pourquoi ca m'enerve maintenant? J'avais tout confiance en mes decisions...je continue d'en avoir cette confiance....mais, tout allait bien...alors pourquoi pas maintenant? je croyais que tout allait bien...

merde...j'en ai marre....j'en veux plus...ras le bol....

tu veux que je sois hors de ta vie alors que vos voeux soit excaucé

Damnit.

New Things

2007-08-19T20:23:00.000-05:00

This week begins the new school year at a new school with new teachers and new students in a new home in a new city in a new state.

Talk about a change. I've already had two days of orientation and there are three more days of orientation before school starts on Thursday. I've got my courses picked out and I sometime in the next few days I'll be told what my courses are that I will be teaching. I'm excited.

This year I'll be taking a required course for all TAs on how to teach a foreign language as well as a course called "Le sacré dans la littérature française" (The role of "the sacred" and religion in French literature) as well as one on the Structure of the French language. I might take Italian or Spanish or German or something as well...we'll see, depends on my schedule.

I haven't met too many people yet, but once school starts and the 50,000 students are back on campus I'm sure I'll be meeting tons of people all the time. My roommate seems ok, haven't really gotten to know him very well, but yeah, we'll see.

Change of status...

2007-07-07T15:57:00.000-05:00

This weekend has been insane; and it's only the beginning of this insane month I have ahead of me.

Thursday night after work my dad and I drove down to Florida and spent the night at my grandfather's place. The next morning I went through and signed my name about 50 times and initialed about 150 times on all of these documents and now I am officially a homeowner in the state of Florida. I am the proud owner of a rather large two-bedroom, two-bathroom condominium across the street from the University of Florida. Sweet.

After that I went to the utilities place and had them set up my cable and internet and then left to go to the DMV. The guy who told us where the DMV was said that the lines are "always really long, last time I was there there were ten people in line and I said 'forget this! I'll come back a different time'" To those who have never had to use the Atlanta area DMVs...ten people is nothing. We went and waited for a (comparatively) short amount of time and soon after I became an official Florida driver. It's also the first time my license has not had "under 21" on it because, I just never got it changed a few years back. w00t! I went to go get a new tag for my car and I'll be getting that next week. It's all very exciting.

After all that fun, we head back to my grandfather's place and pressure-washed his deck completely. It looks almost brand new now. (Did I mention I really like pressure washing? Like...seriously...a lot.) Today we drove back up to Georgia so I can work Monday and Tuesday and move all of my stuff down on Wednesday. Hopefully Wednesday I will meet someone who is thinking about being my roommate (I hope it works out, the guy seems cool enough and I really want to nail this roommate thing down pretty quick). And after that it's vacation, Iowa, and boatloads (oh yes, BOATS!) of more things to do.

It's all very exciting.

:D

Life keeps on moving forward...

2007-06-19T08:03:00.000-05:00

It's already above room temperature outside and it's 9 AM. I hate hot weather and it's been hot and humid for the past month or so. Why am I moving to Florida where it will be hotter and more humid? Hurm. I must be insane.

So the roommate search is going alright. I've had probably around 20 people respond. Half of those have been women and I'm really looking for a guy to room with. I think it could just get a bit too awkward living with a female--for both of us involved. Out of those 10 guys, about half of them seem kinda creepy/scary and the other half seem to be not too bad. I'd like to get this nailed down as soon as possible; since I'm in Atlanta, however, it's really hard to show people around the place and such. I'm not sure how I'm going to remedy this exactly yet. We'll see.

But yes, things are going well with the home. There was a minor setback yesterday, but really it's not a big deal. The old owners installed a washer and dryer in a very innovative way out on the deck (it's not as redneck as it sounds, I promise.) Anyway, apparently it's against the Condo Association Rules. (I can't find where in the documentation that it breaks a rule, but whatever.) Anyway, they were pressure washing the outside and they noticed the washer/dryer unit and ordered them to remove it. Essentially we're either going to just put it back after I buy the unit or install it somewhere inside. Either way, I want my washer & dryer! *shakes fist* The old occupant wants to stay an extra week after closing though, so she's going to pay me rent for a week. Horray! Extra money!

Only two weeks and three days til closing! Very exciting.
After that there's just one week until Vacation.
And after vacation it's time for a road trip with Maggie to/from Iowa.

I need to hang out with people more. Time is running out!

I went to Becca's wedding last weekend. It's awesome that she's married. And kinda strange. She's the closest friend of mine to get married. It was great getting to hang out with the Freshman year Gang, though. It's been ages since we've all been together.

Homeowner

2007-06-09T20:37:00.001-05:00

So today, we had a counter-offer for my new home in Florida and we accepted the offer and now, provided that everything goes smoothly through closing (which it should), I am a homeowner.

Wow.

Almost There...

2007-06-07T18:43:00.000-05:00

So, I think I'll be buying a home soon. It's ridiculously crazy...but awesome. Tomorrow we're making an offer on a condo in Gainesville, Fla. If this goes through, I'll have a place to live in Florida...that will be mine. Isn't that ridiculous? I'm very excited. It's an upstairs condo with two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, living room, balcony, and a little place to put a table (dining room? it's not really a room...whatever). It has some paint problems (i.e. the color needs to go)...but once this goes through, I can move in......I'm so excited! :D

Here are some pictures of the place. It's someone else's decorating style obviously, but you get a feel for it.

Stress, Stress, Stress!

2007-06-05T07:49:00.000-05:00

So I have read and heard that the three most stressful times in a person's life are having a baby, buying a house, and planning a wedding. Now, I'm not experienced on those things very well but I can tell you that the second one--buying a house--is VERY stressful. There is just so much to think about and so much to know and so much to consider...and then once it's done, it's done. There's no turning back.

Oi.

Even though I was incredibly stressed and probably not very fun to be around while I was in Gainesville this past week, I did enjoy the town and the University, I think I'll enjoy it even better when I move down there in two months. The place I'm looking at has two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a balcony, kitchen, living room, it's on the second floor with no one above me and it's very close to the University. Now, the thing is, you can be very close to the University, but still be far from your classes. Most classes are in the the Northeast corner of the University and I'd be just across the street due south of the middle of the University....but whatever. It's still a nice place, if I can get there. If I don't I might rent out this place on the corner of 34th and W University across the street from the Law School and the UF Golf Course. I think that students get super cheap or free use of the UF Golf Course so I think Mike and I need to have a little golf game down there sometime. I think it'd be awesome.

Anyway, I should probably get back to work. Hopefully by the end of the week we will have this thing nailed out and I can be a little less stressed. Hopefully....

'Cause There's Just Too Many Scenarios To Analyze...

2007-05-29T21:10:00.000-05:00

Today started out OK, I suppose.

I don't really know what happened.

Right now, however, I am feeling crappy.

I've been thinking far too much about where I'm going to live next year, how I'm going to survive living next year, why in the world a friend of mine from Berry thinks that Satan was the reason a group of us friends no longer hang out, how the crap this relationship with Maggie is going to work, how much it sucks being apart and how much that will be for the next year or so.

Gah, I'm done thinking. ever.

In other news I'll be thinking about housing all week as I will be leaving for Gainesville early tomorrow morning and coming back Sunday. Horray. :|

Two Weddings and a Party.

2007-05-26T23:27:00.000-05:00

Whew.

I just got back from two weddings today. TWO. It's insane. Justin and Rebecca got married today up at Berry. I went up and got there just in time to sit down and get set to watch everyone walk down the aisle. It was a really nice ceremony and I'm very happy for both of them. I had fun hanging out with everyone at the reception, it was like a little mini-reunion of my closest friends. After about an hour at the reception, I drove down super-fast to downtown Atlanta (an hour and a half drive took only an hour....:$) and went to the Aquarium for Amanda and John's wedding. They already had their ceremony but I was wanting to go to their wedding as well so I went to their reception at the Georgia Aquarium. It was definitely, by far, one of the most lavish receptions I have ever been to: Open Bar, Four Course Meal, Live Band, Tons of Waiters, Assigned Seating, And Giant Aquarium viewing areas where you could see all sorts of cool aquatic animals. It was very cool. I really liked both weddings even though they were pretty much complete opposites. It was cool to go to the very fancy wedding, but it was a lot of fun to hang out with all of the people I know and love and actually be able to talk to the bride and groom and carry on a conversation with them. I dunno, they were both awesome, just in different ways.

Yep, so I had fun with that. Tomorrow is Mike's birthday party up at Kennesaw Mountain and then on Wednesday night or Thursday morning I'm going to head down to Florida to look at some places to live. I've got some ideas on places and I'm really excited and looking forward to this.

It's amazing how everyone around me is growing up in so many different and cool ways and to be a part of it....it's all really awesome. God is also awesome.

Summer Plans

2007-05-22T08:28:00.000-05:00

Working, working, working. That's what I tell everyone that I'm doing nowadays, and it's pretty much true. You wouldn't think that a job tht arequires you to sit t a desk all day would be that tiring but by the time I get home around six o'clock, I'm exhausted. Maybe that has to do with the fact that I don't get that much sleep at night. I probably spend far too much time talking to Maggie at night (stupid time zones...) but I enjoy it so it's not a big deal, and I'm not going to bed
too late normally.

I'm excited because I'm pretty sure I'm going to be able to go up to Iowa (the Homeland, as I call it) for the Parker family reunion. "What?" I hear you saying "But you're not a Parker! There aren't any Parkers in your family!" I understand and no, I have not decided after a late-night screening of Wedding Crashers to start my own group called Reunion Crashers where we go to random family reunions and mooch off of them just telling them we are distant cousins. Maggie invited me up to hang out with her at the end of July with her fam in Iowa, so I'm gonna drive up with her dad (should be interesting....) and then drive back down with her. Hopefully around then I'll be able to move into my new place in Gainesville and all will be good. It's going to be a crazy new time in the life of this Matt.

I haven't really hung out with anyone from school yet. It's kinda hard when you work all day. I need to go by and see Becca's new apartment and hang out with Nicole & Drew. Mike and Kat are in Florida right now picking up some furniture so hopefully I'll be able to hang out with them too. I'm excited.

Alright, I should probably head back to work.

à+ M

Here comes the rain again...

2007-05-16T09:34:00.000-05:00

I feel very Seattle-ish today. I'm sitting in front of a computer doing work, drinking my third cup of coffee (and it's only 10:40am!) and looking out my office window at the green trees and the sprinkling rain in overcast skies.

It's good that it's raining. It hasn't rained here in a long time and we're in a pretty bad drought with some water restrictions. I mean, no where near as bad as the drought they have going on in Australia, but still. Not to mention that it's just refreshing...

Days like this tend to make me very reflective and very pensive. I'm never sure if that's a good thing or not. I have been known to overthink things a bit too much...but I have yet to be convinced how bad that really is.

Something curious is that overthinking tends to make me think about Maggie and Seattle also. Both of us sitting at Kerry Park on Queen Anne looking down at the night skyline talking about overthinking amongst a myriad of other things. I really didn't expect anything to come of it, especially nothing that has gone this far.

I suppose I'm just pleasantly surprised.

Here comes the rain again
falling on my head like a memory
falling on my head like a new emotion...

Summertime

2007-05-12T22:50:00.000-05:00

So, I'm back at home.

I spent the first few days unpacking and getting settled back at home. It's my last summer living at home...kinda crazy. It's pretty much how it has been for the last few years not much of a change, really.

I also started work on Thursday at the job I've been doing the last few summers. I got a raise at the job too! Apparently when you get a 4-year college diploma you get a 50c raise! It's quite exciting, let me tell you.

Not doing much really recently. Just getting back into the summer groove. Hopefully going to hang out with Mike and Kat and Drew and Nicole a lot this summer. I'm definitely going to miss those guys, it's too bad we're all going to live relatively far away. At least I'm in Florida...they'll have a reason to come over and visit me! Beaches! Disney World! Me! It's an unbeatable combination.

I really don't know what else I was going to say when I started this blog entry...ah well, I'm going to head out....I'm stuffed with the awesome ribs we just for Mother's day..I think it's time for a nap or something :P

It seems it's always the crazy times...

2007-05-02T15:06:00.000-05:00

Lake Coeur d'Alene, Idaho

I got my grades today for my last semester of my undergraduate career. It's pretty much incredible. I'm getting excited about graduating and moving on. I'm not sure it all has set in yet what that really means, but we'll see.

I never really realised how incredibly hard it is to find a good apartment/condo in a college town. I didn't think that there are going to be tons of places out there that are overcharging for what they offer and don't do upkeep because they know it's for college students that won't care. Hopefully it'll work out...things generally do. I've noticed that things are hard and difficult, but with some extra effort and some faith things seem to work out really well.

I also am apparently going to get a graduation present from Maggie today and another tomorrow. I'm very curious to see how this comes out since I have no idea what it is and she's being quite secretive.

dis, est-ce que tu dors?

2007-04-29T23:59:00.000-05:00

So...I'm bored.

I've got six more days of nothing to do but pack until I attend my graduation ceremony. I really need to find something productive to do with my time other than watching movies and sleeping. That's all I seem to be doing nowadays.

Check out my deviantArt gallery for some new photos: http://matteo49.deviantart.com

dis, est-ce que tu dors?
si oui, est-ce que tu rêves aussi?
sinon pourquoi tu dors?

--"Oui, non, ou encore?" Louise Attaque

Finito

2007-04-28T13:36:00.000-05:00

Yesterday at 4:55PM I turned in my final thesis. The last paper I will ever have to write as an undergraduate.

Crazy.

But very exciting.

So now what?

Countdown: T-9 days and counting.

2007-04-26T12:33:00.000-05:00

Halloween 2004 - Clara Bowl - Berry College

So here we are. I'm sitting here at my desk writing this blog entry just after finishing my final class of my undergraduate career. That's it. No more lectures or note-taking or final exams for me at Berry College. I'm done. I'M DONE!

Man, that feels good.

Granted, I still have to write two more pages of my thesis and run over it all a few times to check for grammar/spelling/dumb mistakes. That's the problem when you write a paper in a foreign language...there are only so many people who can check it for you. Anyway, that's due in approximately twenty-seven hours. That's really all I have left to do, though. Then it's smooth sailing until I graduate on Saturday 5 May.

Wow. It's been a crazy four years: Hippie roommate, new best friends, nerd ball, late night pool, wine and cheese nights, Kufunninupuhs, outdoor movies, treks up to mountain campus, the gallons of coffee, the 'free' lucky charms in d-hall, learning how to follow and break the rules, sleeping on the roof of the chapel, sneaking into buildings, yarning buildings, sophomore pranks, 'coffee' parties, the Irish Pub, the Alley, Racquetball, the double-late-nighter for ESOL, crazy professors, crazy bosses, crazy friends, friends getting engaged, friends getting married, New Jersey, Connecticut, Nebraska, Chattanooga, New York, Seattle, Walla Walla, Paris, Nice, Strasbourg, Benalla, Melbourne, Sydney, Hamilton, Euroa, Spokane, Cheney, Tybee Island, New Orleans, Houston, San Antonio, Saint Petersburg, Bangor, Bar Harbor, Boston, Newport, Allentown, Calais, Toronto, Detroit, Saint Andrews, LAX, PHX, ATL, CDG, IAD, GEG, MEL, SYD, TPA, DTW, SLC, late-night talks, late-night walks, swimming in the reservoir, birthday cookouts, end-of-year dinners, anger, frustration, exams, love, friendship, and so much more. All of that embodies parts of my four years here.

Craziness.

Who knows what the next four years will be like....

Family Disturbance

2007-04-18T16:13:00.000-05:00

First of all, my grandfather is awesome.

He's just a really great man. He's one of the most religious and pious men I have ever known. He's one of the most respected figures in my family and one who's opinion--although sometimes not agreed with--is highly respected. He was born soon after World War I, lived through the depression, fought in World War II, started a family, contributed to the Baby Boom, taught numerous years of high school social studies and sunday school, became the proud father of three and grandfather of six, saw a new millenium, saw the passing of his wife, the graduation of three of his grandchildren from high school, the destruction of a house he built with his own hands, and so many more things. He has lived an extraordinary life and is still living even after eighty-six years.

But something has started to bug me recently.

It's not something I thought I would have noticed. It's such a small minute detail...but it bugs me...and I don't know what to do about it.

My grandmother, his wife, died in early 2003 and he has since been in a sort of depression, which is understandable...they had been together for over sixty years. Sixty years of waking up in the same bed, living in the same house, sharing thoughts, becoming practically one person--when grandmother died, it was like a part of him died. But my grandfather continued to love his Heavenly Father and be faithful to the Bridegroom of Christ.

Following the years after my grandmother's death, my grandfather continued into depression and we didn't think he could stay at his house alone anymore. He went to go live with his daughter and her family, who would take care of him. He became more and more sickly both with actual medical problems and some problems that he convinced himself he had and probably--through the incredible power of the brain--might have actually given himself.

I probably didn't notice the small change until maybe about two or three years ago. My grandfather would often pray over family meals when we were there. He began the prayer practically every time with the same sentence without variation. It's a phrase that I've heard so much I probably will remember until I die.

Heavenly Father, we thank you again for this day and for thy love and mercy.

My grandfather uttered this phrase tens of thousands of times in his life, without fail. But a few years ago he began to say "Heavenly Father, we thank you again for this day and for thy love." and that was it. The first time I caught it I looked up to see if maybe he was choking or something had prevented him from saying the next two words I was so accustomed to hearing.

But he just kept going.

He kept going with the rest of the prayer over the meal and I was confused. OK, so maybe once in his lifetime he forgot to put those two words in his prayer. The guy does it all the time, there's bound to be some variation that I just had never noticed.

But it continued. It continued every time that I have ever heard the man pray since. It continued and every time the prayer was uttured across his tight pursed lips I would feel this emptiness...this anticipation...for this line that would never come. It's as if someone had sung the entire National Anthem and ended "Oh say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave, o'er the land of the free." and ended right there not even acknowledgeing that we are the home of the brave. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

And then I think I realized it. This man no longer thinks that God is merciful. He has had such a horrible time these past few years and felt so depressed and sickly and so he no longer feels the need or desire to thank the Lord our God for his mercy that my grandfather no longer sees.

I was floored.

This man who helped raise his children with incredible moral and ethical values based upon the teachings of Jesus Christ, this man who--every sunday--would teach a sunday school class on different parts of the Bible for decades, this man who baptized me, this man who has been the patriarch and cornerstone of our family no longer believes that God is merciful.

It really saddens me...it's a big blow.

And I don't know what I can do about it.

So I'm twenty-two...now what?

2007-04-16T11:24:00.000-05:00

So, picking up from where I left off, my birthday was not super awesome...but it's not because of any particular person. It's mainly because of all of this busy work-so-much-because-you-want-to-graduate life. I wasn't able to plan a fun thing for everyone to come hang out...we just all gathered and did some stuff...it was very low-key...but nice. I had to work most of the day though...it really didn't feel very birthday-ish. It did get better as the day went on, though.

Michael did come up and he and I went out to eat at Provino's (where you get a free birthday meal!) where we talked about all sorts of things like future plans, Maggie, my trip to Washington, Kathryn, his upcoming marriage, and a whole bunch of other stuff. It really was awesome getting to hang out with him for more than just a few minutes in passing (which rarely happens as it is). He's definitely someone I'm going to miss dearly when I move to Florida.

We came back and made some sangria and hung out with Drew, Nicole, and Jenni. It was an overall fun evening. Becca came over later but she couldn't stay long...turns out she didn't even remember it was my birthday until halfway through us talking.

I also am really growing fond of Nicole and Drew. I really didn't get to know Nicole until about a year or so ago and I've known Drew since nearly the first day of school but I've really gotten to know him better recently. They also are going to be sorely missed. It looks like they'll be off in Mississippi for a few years.

Anyway, this past week has been full of work and in the few moments that I do have a break I am either sleeping or cleaning. Since I've gotten back from Washington and after going home for Easter I've tried to be cleaner and healthier...so far it's been going alright, but it takes a lot of effort. It's just nice to come home to a clean appartment and to have something healthy to eat instead of nuking something in the microwave and eating it while watching reruns of The Office.

Anyway, I'm almost done with school. Two weeks of actual school left and then just some final touch ups and a few days of relaxation and packing and I'm home free. It feels wonderful to have accomplished something like graduating from college. I've only got a two-page paper, a thesis (10ish pages left), one final exam, and an oral defense of my thesis. And they are all well-spaced out. Also only two more days of student teaching. Horray! It's very exciting. :D:D:D My kids don't want me to leave, but I'm ready to be gone. I'll miss the kids, but I'm tired of the stress.

So yeah, also Maggie got into Miami. Yay. I know she's excited--if not for Miami, just to know where she is going and what she is doing and where God is putting her next year. Too bad she won't be down in this region til about August. Boo. Oh well.

Weekend Blues

2007-04-07T17:53:00.000-05:00

So, I'm home for Easter. It's good to be home with family. Unfortunately, it's also kinda crazy being home with family. Since both me and my brother are not living at home anymore because we both go to college, when we're all together my dad and my brother seem to get at each other's throats. It's just an interesting combination of personalities between those two. So, I'm basically just sitting around listening to them argue with each other about things. I want to chalk it up to teenage angst or something...but he just turned nineteen; I would think that he'd be out of that phase by this point in his life. Ah well.

I also was supposed to go watch TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, for those who had a sad childhood without everyone's favourite metamorphisized karate-kicking teen-angst testudines) but it fell through. I'm going to get to watch it on Tuesday though as a sort of "after-birthday" thing with a couple of friends. I've got so much work for this up-coming week too. I really just want to sit back and relax after that wonderful trip in Washington...I really forgot all about school. But now, I've got three weeks to write a thesis on the evolution of the French language; finish off my portfolio that's due Monday (THANK GOD IT WILL BE OVER!); and a Psychology project due 8 days after that that I haven't even thought of starting.

Also, I'm starting to look for a place to live in Gainesville. It's crazy. I think sometime in May I'm going to head down to G'ville to find a condo or something. I'm excited. :D

Also, it's been super cold this weekend here. Seriously, and it's beautiful in Washington where I just left. I think bad weather is following me around or something....Although, it was beautiful and not rainy in Seattle...I guess maybe "opposite of normal" weather follows me around. It even dusted with snow last night. Craziness. Isn't this the first week of April??? Oi.

Drink Coffee: Do Stupid Things Faster With More Energy!

2007-04-05T17:56:00.000-05:00

So, I'm back from the Northwest. It was awesome.

I flew over to Phoenix and then up to Spokane to meet Jamie and Nick. I then went to the bustling town of Airway Heights just outside of Spokane where Pastor Paul lives. Pastor Paul and I had some very interesting conversation...he is quite an interesting man with some very...interesting beliefs. Yes, I realise that I used the word interesting a tad too much....but seriously, that's what he is; he is the embodiment of 'interesting'.

I got the grand tour of Spokane which is actually a lot cooler than I realised. I mean, it's not this huge cosmopolitain metropolis, but it's definitely better than some other cities I've been to. It also has some really cool architecture around the town. Went around the Spokane River and got to see the falls and some nature walks and some cool vista points. The next day when Maggie and Meghan were back, we all decided to have a fancy dinner/cocktail party thing. It was good. I got to meet these two ladies that I have heard so much about and just get to hang around with cool people. It was a lot of fun.

The next day we started the road trip to Seattle and stopped on the way at the Lake Wanapum along the Columbia River at this really large Gorge. 'Twas cool. Also got to drive in Seattle and do all the great things there like see the Space Needle, UW, EMP, Eat seafood on the pier, take a ferry ride, try on a Utilikilt, and take vast amounts of photos. I'm also not bitter at all about not going to UW next fall. Nope. Not one bit.

Nope.

Anyway, so that was really cool. I got to get to know these people even better--you learn alot when you spend literally 24 hours of every day with people. And I also got to visit a family that my family has known for ages but hasn't seen in over 15 years. It was great to catch up and just to keep a friendship going.

Later we headed to Walla Walla and I got to see Washington Wine Country (and try it out some too, yum :) ). I also got to meet a cool family--Jim & Debi--and sing in a presbyterian choir. No, I'm not normal, it's understandable. I also got to go to Idaho (woohoo! now, only seven states to go until I've been to all 50!) where I got to chat with Maggie in a little coffee shop in Coeur d'Alêne that was run by this couple from Florida who met on Match.com and who were really nice.

Went back to Cheney and it's deathly coldness...had a good final dinner with everybody and got to see some of the EWU campus while I was there. I really loved the PNW and it's really a shame it's probably going to be a while until I go back there. Although, I'm fairly certain that it's better than I'm going to Florida next year...not because I like Florida better...but because I think that's probably where God wants me at this moment in time.

Anyway, I had an awesome time and am paying for it as I have a LOT of stuff to do and to make up while I was gone. I am going to be working a lot over this Easter weekend. I graduate in exactly one month. It's really freaking insane. But I'm so happy about it. I just have to make sure I cross all my i's and dot my t's so everything goes smoothly and I don't screw up and have to take another semester or something. Oi! Could you imagine? I don't even want to think about it.

A bientôt, Seattle; et bientôt Adieu...

2007-03-22T13:40:00.001-05:00

So, in a week's time I will be where that picture is. It turns out that there is a very very very slim chance that I will be living in Seattle next year. In fact, probably about a 1% chance. It's super-slim. Instead I'll be living in Gainesville, Florida (the most likely candidate) or Urbana, Illinois (still a possibility). I'm still going to be visiting Jamie, Maggie, Meghan and a whole bunch of people in Cheney, Washington...and I get to visit Walla Walla...and the Prathers. Over all, next week should be awesome. I have a ton of work to get done with though in the next few weeks.

I've got six articles for a portfolio due on the 30th, an ELR due on the 2nd, the entirety of my portfolio due on the 9th, starting teaching again on the 9th, and my thesis has to fit in all the nooks and crannies that I can find between doing other things. I found out it only has to be at least nine pages now, which makes me feel better, because I was worried it was going to have to be 25. Nine is much more acceptable, in fact, I've only put about 1/6th of the information and it's already three pages. I just have to find time to put in the rest of it. I've got all of April to do that though, I should be ok. It's a lot of work.

Anyway, speaking of all that work. I'm off to go get started on it and eat some chicken and rice, I'm starving.

Hodgepodge

2007-03-16T23:04:00.000-05:00

It's Friday of my last Spring Break of college. Craziness. I have seven more weeks until I have an undergraduate degree. I'm looking forward to this summer and the coming year. I think I might actually go to graduate school. I've been wavering about my decision, but I'm kinda leaning toward graduate school now. The idea of more classes is not very interesting, but the idea of being paid to teach college students while simultaneously learning cool stuff seems fun to me. I'm insane, I know.

So far I have been accepted to the Universities of Texas, Georgia, and Florida; waitlisted at Illinois, and will find out next week about Washington. I'm pretty much decided I'm going to Florida of Illinois or Washington don't work out. If I get accepted to Illinois (which the graduate director said probably would happen) I'm not sure which I would choose. But Washington would trump all and I'd be going there over any of the five.

I'm also hoping I will hear back from Nintendo and the Localization job that I applied for a month or so ago. I know that most companies are not the most quick at responding, but I really think that would be an amazing job and an amazing opportunity for me.

I spent last night and a lot of today looking around at the job market for someone with my skills. I don't know how in the world people who just graduate out of college get jobs. I have found very few companies that accept recent college graduates, and even fewer who accept those who get a BA in the Humanities. :: sigh :: oh well.

On a much happier note, I am going to visit Seattle in a little over a week. I will get to visit the Pacific Northwest (which I've never done) meet some new friends (again, something new) and see Jamie (which I haven't done in over three years). I'm looking forward to that week and a half very very much. :D