I realize this post might sound a little emo. My apologies.
So it's the middle of October, Autumn is in full blow. Well, it should be. I think of October as having a myriad of oranges, reds, golden browns surrounding me, a cold breeze sweeping through and occaisional gusts of wind that give you chills with the days getting cooler and the nights even colder.
There are thoughts of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Midterms, piles of raked-up leaves (ready for jumping in, much to the dismay of he who raked them), coats and sweaters coming out of the closet, college football games, contemplative moments, time with friends and family, and so much more that run through my head and are, for me, an essential part of Autumn.
I think part of the reason I've been feeling so blah recently is that I am not getting Autumn. It's like a part of my natural yearly cycle has been taken from me and I cannot find it. October in Florida is like Summer. Leaves don't change; weather does not get cooler; it's like a perpetual sunny paradise here. I guess that's why people move here and vacation here so often.
I hate it.
I need my four seasons. It's like an actual physical/mental/emotional/spiritual need.
I think I complain about living in Florida a bit too much. But seriously, this is not where I want to be.
This is not where I want to be...
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4 comments:
Psh, it's not emo, it's what I think but I'm *trying* desperately to be optimistic. My choir director told me this morning that living down here will thin my blood and I *will* be wearing a winter coat in 60 degree weather.
Matt, if this happens, I want you to shoot me.
Gah! I don't know there's a lot I could say, maybe we'll have to *actually* talk sometime soon. Part of me wants to just write out everything going on here for you but seriously one-upsmanship or anything rarely does anything to make anyone feel better, I also know that if someone were to tell me to suck it up and look on the bright side, I'd probably punch them in the face. Anyway I'm still here... not online so much, but I have a phone whenever you need to vent.
I have frequently threatened to just up and leave and finish out the year backpacking Europe... little do they know I'd actually do it if I had the money...
Yeah, I've realised I pretty much have seasonal affective disorder. Not so much because cold drab poorly lit weather makes me sad? But because I can't shoot anywhere near as much. It's insane, my mood is almost tied proportionally to how much potential there is for pretty well lit photos. I'm so far gone. :P
Anyway, you have to remember, Florida is where America goes to die, so it's not surprising you feel this way. ;)
~Jamie
Where do you want to be?
Yah.. Honestly, this is how I feel every autumn. I wish I could say it got any better, but of the things that change when moving from further north to Florida, the desire for seasons seems to be the only one that hasn't changed over the last few years. I identify with this, man. Good thing we all got to see some Georgia beauty last weekend. :D
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