I'm a generally pensive kind of guy, but there are these moods I normally get in that are kind of nearly-depressing/emo/serious pensive moods that I get into about once a month or so. I like those moods though. Even though I described them rather unamiably.
Today however, is a bit different. I've just got a bunch of things running through my mind and I'm thinking about a ton of different things...but it's not quite the same. I don't know how to describe that any better....which makes it ridiculous to write in a blog, but that's just the way it is.
I haven't been very good at talking recently, nothing comes out like I want it to. They should just make a way to communicate feelings through a direct internet upload/download system or something. Life would be a lot easier.
So Mike and Kat got married this past weekend. I love that couple. I love them...both individually, and as one. I am so blessed and thankful that they are in my life. I kept telling them how excited I was and how I love those two and how awesome it was that they were married...but everytime I said it it never seemed to do justice to what I actually felt. Hurm. Words are ridiculous (which is why I spend all of my time studying them.....irony?)
I had a good long talk with Drew at the Bachelor's Party. I'm glad we got to talk. I really didn't get to know him that well until my last two years of college and really my last year of college. But I've really come to love him and Nicole (his wife). It's really kind of a shame that our lives are splitting in so many directions. We're trying to make sure we spend a good amount of time with each other at least once a year.
It was crazy seeing the mass of people at the wedding and pre-wedding festivities that I hadn't seen in ages. So this is what growing up is like. Crazy.
I'm pretty sure that Mike, Drew, and Micah (and their respective spouses/future-spouses) and I should know each other for the rest of our lives and keep in contact. These people are amazing.
It's weird that I've traveresed three different worlds in the past three days. Being with my parents and family completely without interaction with the outside world for a few days was good, I do love my family. Then I went and saw all of my best friends from college and my best friend get married to his beautiful and wonderful wife. And it was a kind of surreal experience in many ways. Then I came to Gainesville, my new home, and hung out with nearly everyone I know here and love here.
And now, some random thoughts, as that seems to be the trend:
-I talked way too much about emotions in this post, I blame it on the surge of estrogen I've been exposed to in the past few days.
-I definitely need to learn when to stop talking. I have told Mary far too much.
-There are still some things that my mind has not fully found closure on. That bugs me.
-God is ridiculous.
-I've been using the word ridiculous way too much in the past few months.
-I'm not sure how I feel about my party planning being hijacked by my ex-girlfriend. It doesn't really bother me, it just seems weird.
-I need to fly somewhere far away. Just for a bit.
-I'm glad that my electric bill is for the first time under 90$...in fact, a lot less.
-I am not excited to write this paper in the next few days.
-I got a calendar with pictures of Paris and a typography book from Jamie for Christmas. Yes, I'm a dork, but it's totally awesome.
-I also got a lot of practical stuff for Christmas, which is fine by me, I'm glad to get them.
-I was sad that I was not able to be as giving because of financial means this Christmas.
-I am saddened for a friend of mine whom I wish I could be there for more, because I know he needs it.
-I'm trying to learn to have Gainesville be my home...even if it's just a home for right now.
-Love is amazing.
-There are days when I really can't wait to be with the one I'm going to marry. And there are others where I think it's probably never going to happen. I've been doing better at thinking less.
-Still a lot of unanswered questions. I think most of these will probably stay that way until the Big Guy decides to let us all in on His secrets.
-I miss my old church...or what I nostalgically remember my old church being when I was younger.
-Love is hard.
-This post is way too long and scattered (smothered, covered, and capped).
3 comments:
Waffle House inspires intestinal tracts cry.
That much time in a car with someone will usually lend itself to extra disclosure.
Fly somewhere. YES. Take me too.
God IS ridiculous. Compared to what we pretend is normal.
Is love as complicated as we make it? It's a pretty big deal. So ... probably so. Darn.
Ok. That is your comment.
I miss just talking, not even about important stuff, just talking. Thanks for being cool with Hayden hanging out though, he needed something to do. Perhaps when you're in Miami we can just hang for a bit, or if I get up to visit sometime again... not even just us... but with peers... more subjects come up with more people... it kinda sucks that we were limited on time, but nonetheless it was fun to hang out, I would definitely like to hang out with all those people again sometime.
Also, as I think I've told you, "hijacked" is not really the word I'd use :P I prefer "made a fun suggestion"
I can kind of sympathize with the whole lots of thoughts swirling around, thinking about too many different things, feeling pensive and moody thing. It's like, there's so much that you wish you could express, but you can't manage to put it into actual words because there's too many other thoughts jockeying for attention, and so it's nearly impossible to actually think something through all the way. And then you get really frustrated and just wish you could stop thinking altogether. *ahem* at least, that's how it is for me.
I felt the same way about Mike and Kat. They're such incredible people, and I tried so hard to tell them how much I appreciated them and how excited I am for the life they're going to have together, but everything I could say just sounded exactly like what every other joe schmoe says to a married couple. Irritating.
Growing up. Man. I mean, I can't wrap my mind around being in a place where we have to try to pledge to spend time with our friends once a year. Remember way back a few years ago when we had the idea that you and I and Mike and Drew after we graduated would all live in an apartment together, and our girlfriends would have an apartment across the hall, and it would be just like "Friends" but cooler? I realize it was a joke even then, but sometimes that still just seems like the most awesome arrangement ever.
And finally:
-MattProps for the scatterd smothered covered capped reference... but do you know what they all mean??
- The offer for the flight out to NY still stands, whenever you can swing the cash.
- Thanks for being a listening ear to me the last few months, and for being reassuring when I need it. I really appreciate it.
- Despite the estrogen overload, never waver in the truth that mascara≠tartar control.
--- Micah
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