The directions this blog entry will go in are astounding...

I guess I still harbor some resentment.

I didn't really think I did. And it's really not a big deal. It could be much worse. I just hadn't really thought about it for a while.

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I wish there was a way to suck out all of your thoughts so you could attain some sort of 'inner peace' for just a few minutes or an hour, maybe. Although, it probably wouldn't be as nice as it sounds. And anyway, you wouldn't be able to enjoy the absence of thoughts because you had no thoughts to remember that absence....oh the paradoxes...

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I'm going home tomorrow. Haven't been home in a while. I'll enjoy being with my family and relaxing. Even though my mom had to go out and buy all our presents again ::mumbles something inappropriate:: and even though I have to rewrite an entire 15 page French essay during that time, I'm still going to enjoy this.

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Mike and Kat get married in like ten days. It's got to be a crazy-nervous-anxious-exciting time for them. I know I would be. I'm really excited for them, I know they've been waiting for this for a long time.

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I love that my friends are getting married and going off and having their own lives. It's exciting and new and awesome. I guess It's sort of selfish, but even though I'm excited for them, it makes me sad a little bit. It's the end of an era. They have left the realms of singlehood where they were able to just think about themselves and not have two brains making one decision (if that makes sense). So, in the same way, my relationship with them will change. I mean, not drastically, we're still going to be good friends--and I am still good friends with my other married friends--but it's a different kind of friendship and such...and you can't ever get that back.
All that to say, I'm still very excited for my friends and even though our relationships will change to some degree, that's kind of the way life goes, so yeah...

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I will now list random thoughts going through my head right now (because there are oh-so-many):
--I just found the song "Let's Dance To Joy Division" by The Wombats. It's pretty cool. You should check it out.
--I am tired of thinking about women. Not that I want to change to thinking about men, lol.
--I can't decide what direction God wants me to go in.
--I hate that money is so important for living.
--Why am I getting a degree in something ridiculous?
--Living in the world without being of it is hard.
--I miss being in love. I think I forgot what it was like.
--Have I actually ever really been in love? Maybe not. Who knows.
--What is love? (Baby don't hurt me.)
--I still have a lot of packing to do (read: all of it)
--Part of me wishes I was easier at cutting ties with people.
--What is an adult, anyway?
--I've lost 20 pounds this semester. I don't feel like I have though.
--I hate that I have to write a paper over this break.
--I hate that making a choice in life is leaving behind all of the other options to never see them again. I've never been good with decisions. I want to try everything. This is a problem.
--I should get a better sleep pattern, but I don't really want to. (Hence why I am wide awake ad 12:15 and probably will be til 3 or 4 am)
--I should make this list end soon or people will stop reading this entry. (Why do I care if people read this?)

Thoughts of the day.

Lots to do today.

I've got a presentation for my cinema class tomorrow that I have to prepare for. I guess I should watch the movie first. :P

I've got to finish grading the exams for my class and put their grades in.

I've got to get myself organized.

I *must* do laundry today. It is imperative.

I've got to think about a subject matter for my Literature Paper. I think it's going to be about Perec's Les Choses but I'm not sure, we'll see. Maybe Nadja but Surrealism is a bit scary to tackle.

How funny would it be if surrealism was a person that you could tackle. Man, I'd beat down on that geek.

Women are confusing. Which is nothing new. But once you think you are no longer confused by them, they go and pull something confusing on you. I guess they do keep me on my feet though.

God is cool. I need to get to know him better.

This list kinda deviated from it's purpose of what I have to do today to what my thoughts are.

But it's my blog so I can do what I want and you can't stop me.

I had to pay 3 bucks for parking at the St. Augustine's because the stupid commuter lot was full today. Why? who knows. Seriously, parking here sucks. I love public transportation and would use it if it was, you know, convenient and useful. RTS is none of the above.

I need a nap.