Spring Break is for Stress

Applying for jobs is a stressful and almost painful process. You see, because I am dealing with two of our wonderful institutions that we all have grown to love: Education and Government. Because they are so intertwined they have made it the most impossible process to streamline any sort of way of finding a job, applying for a job, or getting a job.

Do you want to know what the salary will be like? Good luck finding it on their website.

Do you want to know if they are offering jobs? You might as well just check every single individual school district's website (and good luck navigating those!)

Do you want to submit your application? Oh, well everyone wants THEIR specific application filled out tediously online with tiny little forms or Word Documents that you have to erase blank spaces and fill out or PDFs that are not filloutable (Yes, I made up a word, I've got a degree in linguistics, I can do it.)

I am so tired of writing down the same exact things over and over and over again.

I'm also paranoid that I will not find a job at all. The massive amounts of layoffs for teachers that are going on and cutbacks in government budgets. I heard Marion County laid off 500 teachers and Duval county is cutting school days by 45 minutes and lowering the amount of credits that are required to graduate in order to cut elective classes. That's just two counties.

So, I have 19 applications out there in 11 states currently just floating around and hoping one will stick. Most are in California, Missouri, and South Carolina. I'm really hoping that I'll end up in a place I like. I know it will work out wherever I am and I can be used wherever I am...

Anyway, job hunt is stressful. And now I have to study for my Masters Comps for Monday and Tuesday. If I don't pass. No degree and all was for naught. woo. :

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.

So, I survived Finals.

Huzzahs all around.

It was a lot of work, I'm not going to lie, a lot of work. I probably could have done a little better than I did. But it was a lot at once. Ah well, it's over for now. After Finals, I was looking forward to the smooth sailing of the summer.

Oh, Matthew. How naïve you are! Life doesn't work like that. Have you not learned from life before? Perhaps you should take a class in history at Matt U.

Perhaps.

After finals I had tons and tons of grading to do. I also had a meeting I had to go to concerning my summer teaching at UF. I was still quite busy for some time, but it wasn't as stressful, which was good. I then went to the meeting and found out my original plans for the summer--which I had stressed about all semester in trying to get perfectly aligned and tried to let everyone know what was going on and not go behind people's backs--were now impossible. The teachers said they don't think it is a good idea and I had to choose between teaching the first half of the summer at UF or teaching the second half of the summer in Paris.

After a lot of debating and discussing with friends and my parents about what the best choice would be, I had not yet come to a decision. There were lots of things to consider: money, time, the ability of each program to replace me, what God might want me to do (if he even has a preference), etc. I was leaning on teaching at UF and then I got a call this morning though, from Paris, telling me that they really would like me to come to Paris and not teach at UF. The director in Paris also tried to talk to the head of the RomLang Dept and ask him to reconsider his decision. Perhaps he might change his mind.

Perhaps.

It turns out we all found a compromise that we could agree upon and I am now able to do both. This is very very good. It's also pretty awesome. I am excited.

So now, I am able to relax much more at home with my family and my friends. I'm going to see Michael, Kathryn, Nicole, & Drew tomorrow. It's going to be pretty sweet. I'm excited to see them. I'll get to see Becca on Friday and hang with Drew (from Gainesville) and Matt Stauffer when they come through too and show them Atlanta. It'll be pretty sweet. I'm excited.

Much less stressful now, which is good. I still have a kink in my back from my crappy chair I sat in way too much during finals week for typing the 50ish pages I wrote for school. But I'm hoping that goes away soon. There are a few things else on my mind, but a lot of them have been eased with the fact that a friend of mine helped me realize that just because you are being patient, does not mean you are not making a decision. Patience is an active decision, it's not laziness. It's something I will hopefully learn to handle well over the summer. That's my goal. God's not finished with me, yet, it seems. Perhaps I'll finally get it. Or, at least I'll be on my way.

Perhaps.

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.

So, after a frustrating end to yesterday, I'm back to feeling strangely calm. I still have a lot to do, but it seems like a more conquerable mountain. I am not sure how my grades will actually end up (hopefully all passing...what happened to being scared of not getting an A? When did 'C' become a goal?) but I am not worried.

I don't know how it works: I worry a lot, but I'm not really a worrier. I think the fact that I can't really continue to worry about something for a long time causes me to consistently re-worry about things. I don't know if that makes sense.

So here's the breakdown:

1. Tonight (Tuesday): Write take-home final exam (4 questions, not very hard looking) for Phonetics.
2. Wednesday: Last day of classes, turn in Final I wrote the night before.
3. Thursday: Lost & The Office (HECK YES!)...plus, maybe some writing of a 10-pg paper
4. Friday: Writing that 10-pg paper I said I was going to write the day before. Submit it online by midnight.
5. Saturday: Nothing but sleeping-in and hanging-out (and other present participles with hyphenated prepositions)
6. Sunday: Church, God-Time, Small-Group, Writing a 15-page paper
7. Monday: Turning in 15-page paper. Writing another 15 page paper
8. Tuesday: Continuing to write that 15 page paper....and procrastinating
9. Wednesday: 7h30 Final Exam for my students, then lots of grading, then turning in that last paper and I'm done.

So it seems like alot...and it is...but it'll all work out.

w00t.

Pensive.

So I know I have 5 pages to write tonight, but I can't seem to get started. So I am going to procrastinate further by writing a blog entry. Don't you feel special.

Random thoughts currently going through my head:

• I bought new deodorant yesterday. It is a scent i have never tried before. I don't know if I like it.
• Sometimes I wish I had a laptop, sometimes I'm glad I have a desktop. Too bad I can't have both? lol
• I have very little due this week (one presentation), but I am behind on a few things, so this week feels really busy.
• The semester is almost over, Hallelujah.
• My friends in Gainesville are awesome. How did I come to deserve them? Wait, I don't. But that's cool that they are my friends anyway.
• I have this desire to be purely honest with everyone about everything. But I'm afraid it will come back and kick me in the arse.
• It's crazy the differences your life can be in after just one year. I wonder what the differences will be next year?

"Arrache-moi la tête, que je ne puisse savoir."

Weekend

Whew.

So this week is over. Time for the weekend. My birthday was Wednesday, but it feels more like today (Friday) is my birthday. I'm going out to eat with some friends, and then there's a party. It should be fun. :) I'm excited.

Another good thing I found about today, apparently, 2nd year MA students get paid .5 full time instead of .3 full time. This means that I get an extra 5000$ next year for teaching. Horray! This will be nice, since money has been quite tight recently. It's nice to have that little cushion...especially since I'm probably going to have to move after graduation and that's going to cost a pretty penny....

This weekend I have 5 short papers to write, a bibliography, and various projects I need to start/continue working on for next week. Oi.

I've also got to send my taxes in. I have them, I just keep forgetting to mail them in....

Oh, and I got into a class I didn't think I'd be able to take. Horray! Next semester should rock.

The 12 days between the end of the semester and the beginning of Summer A are going to be glorious.

I can't get to sleep, I think about the implications....

I'm sitting here at my computer, eyes wide open, staring at the white glow of my monitor and wondering why in the world I am up at 3am.

It would be reasonable to assume that I am awake because I've been up writing a paper.

Reasonable, but incorrect.

I actually finished my paper that is due tomorrow...er...later today at around 10 or 11pm. I've indulged in a little television and decided I would get to bed around midnight or 1.

After tossing and turning for a few hours, I'm still wide awake and have no idea why. Last time I had coffee was nearly 10 hours ago if not more. I'm tired. My head hurts. And all I want to do is go to bed and sleep.

But I can't.

Insomnia wins again!

blast.

well at least in three and a half days time I'll be done with my first semester of Graduate school, 1/4 of it down, 3/4 left. Already a bit of a milestone that I'm kinda proud of (that is, depending on my grades :S)

Give me a chance to hold on...

Today I woke up after fifteen some odd hours of sleep. Not good you feel greatly rested sleep, but Nyquil and sickness-induced stupor that leaves you not wanting more sleep or to be awake. Which leaves me where?

Well right here, writing this blog entry in an effort to avoid even moreso doing these essays that are slowly becoming more and more pressing. I am nowhere near as far along as I would like, but that is ok. I will persevere. (Must believe this...)

The photo in this entry is the one that I think came out the best from the UF PhotoVentureGanza. I wish I knew a better way to frame it, I couldn't find a sort of photoshopping frame that I liked around it so it is now, as is.

Anyway, I'm off to do some more work (woo!) Any thoughts, notes, love, prayers, chicken soup, warm chocolate chip cookies, and offers for writing two 15-page French Papers on something I could care less about really interesting topics are greatly appreciated.

--M

P.S. In an ongoing theme of me complaining about weather in Florida. It is now the 3rd of December and it is not forcasted to have a high not in the 70s for the next 10 days. How depressing.

Good bunch

I had some people over at my house for a movie. It was awesome. To all of you who came, I appreciate it. I enjoyed it immensely.

I hope that people aren't too busy after school is out. I'd really like to get to know some of these people even better. I've found an amazing bunch.

---

I did very little related to school today. I'm easing myself back in from the anti-school break I had. I hope to God that next semester will go better.

Tomorrow is a day full of OPIs (Oral Proficiency Interviews) and classes plus a bunch of research prep for my two papers. Oi. Not looking forward to those.

Alright, I should sleep.

La vie d'un étudiant avancé...

I've finally got my schedule all fixed and I think, even though it will be fairly challenging, this semester will work out well. As a grad student you actually really don't have tests (life is a test enough). Instead, you have 15 page research paper in a foreign language at the end of your class and TONS of reading. I've got about 10 books to read and 10 films to watch this semester for classes. It should be interesting... I'm going to know so much (useless) information about French literature, cinema, and linguistics.

What am I doing? lol......

Literature, Television, and Java...

Mmm...French roast...

I had forgotten how much I enjoyed dark roasted coffee.

Also, I know people say that coffee makes you more alert, or whatever...but for some reason, caffeine seems to have the opposite effect on me and I end up wanting to take a nap. I'm not sleep deprived...I just want a nap after my three cups of coffee.

Teaching is going well. I'm enjoying it a lot. Their first test comes up on Friday. In a way I feel that it's not really just a test of their knowledge and understanding but also a test of my skills as a teacher and if they have learned anything from me this semester or not. I guess I'll find out this weekend while grading.

I've been watching a lot of random television on the internet. Northern Exposure is actually a cool show and makes me long for random conversations about physics and religion with Micah and Michael. It makes me want to live in a cabin in Washington or Montana (I think Alaska might be a bit much). Somewhere cool and green. I've also been watching a fair bit of this French TV show called "Un gars, une fille" (A guy, a girl)...it's basically short little snippets of this married couple's life together which are generally hilarious for various reasons.

I changed my schedule (again). After finding out that I had two intense literature classes requiring me to read fourteen novels this semester (that's one per week, on average) including handouts, and two research papers ON TOP OF my teaching and my other class on linguistics (the class that I actually find MORE interesting)...I couldn't do it. I'm not a literature person; I like reading, but required reading with analyses and in depth discussions on symbolism doesn't interest me. So I dropped one of them and am taking a class on cinema. Granted, it's a lot of work too, but it only has two books and I get to see some cool films. I guess I should get started reading Proust now....

New Things

This week begins the new school year at a new school with new teachers and new students in a new home in a new city in a new state.

Talk about a change. I've already had two days of orientation and there are three more days of orientation before school starts on Thursday. I've got my courses picked out and I sometime in the next few days I'll be told what my courses are that I will be teaching. I'm excited.

This year I'll be taking a required course for all TAs on how to teach a foreign language as well as a course called "Le sacré dans la littérature française" (The role of "the sacred" and religion in French literature) as well as one on the Structure of the French language. I might take Italian or Spanish or German or something as well...we'll see, depends on my schedule.

I haven't met too many people yet, but once school starts and the 50,000 students are back on campus I'm sure I'll be meeting tons of people all the time. My roommate seems ok, haven't really gotten to know him very well, but yeah, we'll see.

A bientôt, Seattle; et bientôt Adieu...

---

So, in a week's time I will be where that picture is. It turns out that there is a very very very slim chance that I will be living in Seattle next year. In fact, probably about a 1% chance. It's super-slim. Instead I'll be living in Gainesville, Florida (the most likely candidate) or Urbana, Illinois (still a possibility). I'm still going to be visiting Jamie, Maggie, Meghan and a whole bunch of people in Cheney, Washington...and I get to visit Walla Walla...and the Prathers. Over all, next week should be awesome. I have a ton of work to get done with though in the next few weeks.

I've got six articles for a portfolio due on the 30th, an ELR due on the 2nd, the entirety of my portfolio due on the 9th, starting teaching again on the 9th, and my thesis has to fit in all the nooks and crannies that I can find between doing other things. I found out it only has to be at least nine pages now, which makes me feel better, because I was worried it was going to have to be 25. Nine is much more acceptable, in fact, I've only put about 1/6th of the information and it's already three pages. I just have to find time to put in the rest of it. I've got all of April to do that though, I should be ok. It's a lot of work.

Anyway, speaking of all that work. I'm off to go get started on it and eat some chicken and rice, I'm starving.

Hodgepodge

It's Friday of my last Spring Break of college. Craziness. I have seven more weeks until I have an undergraduate degree. I'm looking forward to this summer and the coming year. I think I might actually go to graduate school. I've been wavering about my decision, but I'm kinda leaning toward graduate school now. The idea of more classes is not very interesting, but the idea of being paid to teach college students while simultaneously learning cool stuff seems fun to me. I'm insane, I know.

So far I have been accepted to the Universities of Texas, Georgia, and Florida; waitlisted at Illinois, and will find out next week about Washington. I'm pretty much decided I'm going to Florida of Illinois or Washington don't work out. If I get accepted to Illinois (which the graduate director said probably would happen) I'm not sure which I would choose. But Washington would trump all and I'd be going there over any of the five.

I'm also hoping I will hear back from Nintendo and the Localization job that I applied for a month or so ago. I know that most companies are not the most quick at responding, but I really think that would be an amazing job and an amazing opportunity for me.

I spent last night and a lot of today looking around at the job market for someone with my skills. I don't know how in the world people who just graduate out of college get jobs. I have found very few companies that accept recent college graduates, and even fewer who accept those who get a BA in the Humanities. :: sigh :: oh well.

On a much happier note, I am going to visit Seattle in a little over a week. I will get to visit the Pacific Northwest (which I've never done) meet some new friends (again, something new) and see Jamie (which I haven't done in over three years). I'm looking forward to that week and a half very very much. :D