Tuesday, January 22, 2008

EmailCapsules.com

I received an e-mail today. It read the following:

Dear Future Version of Me,

on today you were bored. yup. what a surprise. You are not sure whether you want to go to Graduate School or if you want to teach. You are a bit stressed about teaching at Rome High but you are even more stressed about your Education Portfolio and even MORE stressed about Thesis work. It\'s crazy.

Written at Mon Jan 22, 2007


I remember when I wrote this. A year ago, I found this website that allows you to send an e-mail to anyone else on a specific date/time in the future.

It's crazy how things have changed.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Randomness on a Spoon

There's a lot of things going through my mind. Not all of which will end up in this late-night blog entry because I have neither the time nor the energy nor the mental capacity to expel all of those tonight.
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I had a good talk with Drew last Friday. We spent pretty much from 3 til 7:30 just talking about all sorts of stuff. Girls and God, mainly. The two G's. He made some good comments and he's just genuinely fun to hang out with. I hope I get to know that guy even better while I'm here.
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Talking with Drew made me realize two things: I love my Gainesville people, but I really do miss my guys back home. Also...I think there are a few things I'm pretty much never going to get over and just going to have to live with. So, I guess I should get over getting over them. Ridiculous.
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There is way more drama in Gainesville than I realized. I thought we left drama behind in middle school. I don't remember Berry being this dramatic.
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My life should be less of an open book.
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I need to learn the art of shutting up and talking less.
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I am an adult now, it's about time I start acting like one.
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I am not artsy, nor am I sporty, I fit in with neither crowd. Sweet. I'm going to make my own crowd called "People similar to or vaguely wanting to hang out with Matt"
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The past may be over, but it can haunt you forever. It's still an irrevocable part of who you are. It has helped mold you into the person that you are today.
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I am a flawed individual. I have come to terms with this. But is it the flaws that make me unique in who I am, or should I try and replace these flaws and fix them with something that is deemed more conducive to living (and loving) well.
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If I am open and honest with others, I'd like to hope that others will be open and honest with me. It would make things a lot easier, in my mind...but getting us all on the same level is difficult (impossible?) and just ends up hurting people.
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Sometimes I think things are difficult, but then I realize I am really doing fine compared to others so I shouldn't complain...and then I realize that the comparison doesn't make things seem that much easier, now I just feel bad about complaining.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

A New Year; A New Me?

It's finally cold in Florida. I love it.

Yesterday was pretty much a wash. In fact, if someone were to ask me what I did on the 2nd, I'm not sure I could tell them. Not because I was drunk out of my mind or in a parallel universe...those two things would have been much more interesting. Instead, I woke up late after going to bed around 6am, did some stuff around the house, played Sim City 4, and went to bed early. How boring.

I suppose it was just a contrast to the entire awesomeness of the previous few days. Friends getting married, seeing old friends, seeing new friends, combining worlds, having a party of nearly 25 people at my house, enjoying hanging out with people, etc. etc. etc.

I'll be ready to have some scheduled goodness when school starts. I'm glad for a break, but I'll be glad to start back up teaching and I guess learning too, lol.

I had way more interesting things to say, but I'm not sure they are completely formulated. So to finish this out, I'll just sum up some of the last year. Sure, it's cliché...but well, whatever.

January: I had a New Year's Eve Party at my parents' house with most of my closest friends from Atlanta. I had sent out all my grad school applications but had no idea where I would be going or what I'd be doing. Micah and Rachel had just gotten officially together and I pretty much just hung out with Jenni because all my other friends had disappeared in their own worlds. Even though I liked hanging out with her, she really messed with my head.

February: I was still teaching high school French and really enjoying it. Got to know Maggie a bit better and planned my trip to Washington State.

March: I don't remember anything important happening. I probably started my thesis and finished off my portfolio. I slowly began to realize that Grad School was my most probable outcome after graduation

April: I spent my second spring break in Washington State. I got to visit Jamie--whom I hadn't seen for about three years--, his girlfriend Meghan, and Maggie. I had an awesome time, but found out that neither Nintendo nor UW wanted me. My dreams of living in Seattle were squashed. I still love the PNW though. I also came back from Washington really enjoying my time with Maggie and we eventually decided that, if things work out, we could hopefully get to know each other better and start dating. I also made the final decision to move to Gainesville and go to UF

May: Things between Jenni and I got more and more estranged--our friendship was getting weird. Totally confused by her "I act like I like you but I say that I don't" attitude, I started acting like a jerk to try and get her to stop (it made much more sense in my head). I finally graduated and finished with my Berry life forever. Justin and Rebecca got married. And I was OK with the fact that I wouldn't have to deal with Jenni again. Maggie and I discussed me coming up to the midwest to hang out with her and her family.

June: Becca and Cole got married. The first out of my closest friends to get married. I continued to work at my dad's place. I also became a homeowner.

July: I found a roommate for my house. I moved all of my stuff into my house and my dad's car got broken into and had a bunch of important stuff stolen. I went on a little mini-vacation to the Smoky Mountains with my family and then went up to Iowa and Nebraska with Maggie's family. I had a good time up there, but it caused some problems with Maggie's and my relationship.

August: I came back from the midwest with Maggie and we spent some time painting my apartment and hanging out. Eventually our relationship came to an end and she moved off to Miami. It was weird being in a new place and not being able to share all the new thoughts with anyone. Micah was busy with either work or Rachel stuff, Drew and Nicole were getting ready to get married, Michael and Kat are always hard to get a hold of, I really wasn't talking to Jenni anymore, and I had just broken up with Maggie and she wasn't talking to me anymore.

September: I got used to Grad School...and decided I hated it. I got used to the Gainesville crowd though and I am so very blessed to have them around. I did a lot of apologizing and forgiving.

October: Drew and Nicole got married. It was awesome. I got to hang out with some amazing people and see some amazing people get married. It was generally amazing. I also got a mini road trip going up to Kentucky to see them. It was awesome. I also realized I had to suck it up and finish at least this semester....regardless of how much I hated Grad School. I learned that Autumn in Florida sucks. Micah and Rachel started having problems but Micah and I started to renew our relationship. As much as we had our problems at the end of college, I really love that guy.

November: I got to really feel a lot more "in" this group in Gainesville. Had some rough patches in Grad School, but started to get through it. Had Thanksgiving with the family in Saint Pete and got to see UF beat FSU and UW lose to WSU....all in all, not a bad month, though.

December: Finished the first semester of grad school without totally failing, like I almost thought I would. Got to spend some time with the family, see two of the most awesome people get married, and spend some time with old friends that I love and adore. My parents got robbed (*shakes angry fist and says a few choice words*) and I had an awesome New Year's Party.

Goals for next year: Get better at talking with God, Have a more positive outlook on Grad School, Travel more, Love.

November: