Mid-term

This week has been a week of semi-productivity. I'm not completely neglecting anything, yet I'm not completely engulfed by a massive amount of responsibility. I'm just kinda gliding through this week. It feels kinda like Friday, but it's actually only Wednesday.

I'm enjoying teaching my students, as nearly always. I'm kinda ignoring the book a bit and focusing on just kinda teaching them. I think it is working out well. I even graded about 90% of their tests yesterday. Which is good because I already have 50 compositions I'm behind on grading. Oi. I'll get to them eventually. I had them do something very different for homework tonight. I hope it works out well and that they enjoy and learn from it.

I had a mid-term last week that I really bombed. D+. It's probably the lowest I've ever gotten on something in GradSchool...yet, I'm not as worried about this class as I was about my literature classes last semester. I am really not learning anything in this class...my interest is also way low because this class is not actually applicable to my future studies or my future career. The only motivation for this class is not failing...and that's a horrible motivation (albeit valid).

Sidenote: Albeit is a very cool word.

I have another mid-term tomorrow in another class (obviously), but I have no motivation to study for it. I'm not nearly as worried, but I really should look at some of this stuff. It's only 9PM. I have a few hours before I should go to bed. I have learned far more in this class than in the aforementioned one though.

My phonetics class doesn't have a midterm, but it's really cool. It's actually turned into physics and maths at this point, which--while I don't completely love maths--I am good at maths and can easily understand it. The physics of language is just cool.

Finally, I should probably find something to do for Spring Break. Maybe I can find a ridiculously cheap flight to somewhere or gather up some people for a road trip. Although, that will be hard for those friends of mine who don't have a spring break or not the same weekend. Ah well, we'll see, I suppose.

Apparently Five (or six...depending on how you want to look at it).

So I have gotten word about some of the stuff I'm going to be doing this summer.

I applied way back in the middle of January for teaching over the summer here at UF. I figure, I should probably find a job since I'm going to live here over the summer and I have 'real world' expenses. UF has two summer semesters, both about 7 weeks long. I was assigned to teach Summer B (July to Mid-August). I also applied two weeks ago for a position to teach French in Paris this summer. It would be held Mid-June to the end of July. I am still waiting to hear about that position this summer (hopefully sometime this next week). If I get in--which I hear from my 'secret sources' that I am up there as far as candidates go--then I'm going to hopefully try and switch teaching Summer B to Summer A (May to mid-June). Which means that my summer will be pretty full, but it will also be amazing. And I will have a steady flow of income and actually end up coming out slightly richer (which will be nice since I'm living pretty much paycheck to paycheck at this point...a little more financial security is always nice...for emergencies and such). Plus it will just be an awesome experience.

Anyway, other than that things are going relatively well in my life. I mean, I could complain (we could always find things to complain about) but I shouldn't complain. I've been really lucky and blessed over the past few months.

[Maybe I should tackle one of those things I said I would write about....ok, here goes]

As many of you know there are, in various languages, different ways to say "you". There is a familiar version (French: tu, Spanish: tú, etc.) and a formal version (French: vous, Spanish: vosotros/Usted, etc.) Because I speak French quite a lot throughout the day and I often find myself thinking in French and therefore praying in French, I wonder how I should address God. I mean, the almighty creater of the universe you would think should receive the upmost formality as possible--vous is the obvious choice. However, he is my father, my
Αββα, my אבא, so shouldn't I refer to him as tu? It's such a big deal in the French language and culture to use the right term and I think I just never knew which one. What if it applies in both ways?

Anyway, one day when I wasn't even thinking about it, I found myself on wikipedia (Quelle surprise!) and found out that many languages have two words for "you" including English. It turns out that English--back in the day--used to have a familiar and formal version of 'you'. I, honestly, had no idea.

It seems that back in the days of Thou and Thy these words were, in fact, the familiar versions of "you"; You and your were actually more formal. So when the King James version was being penned back in the ages of...well, King James, they realized that the all three, the Greek, Aramaic, and Hebrew referenced God in a very familiar way...not distanced at all from his people as a more formal tone would suggest. We think of the KJV having a very formal tone because Thee and Thou and Thine and Thy all seem very archaic and formal to us, but they are actually showing a more closeness with our God.

I dunno, I thought that was really interesting, so I thought I'd share.

Man, how many languages can I put in one entry? lol...

Outward Emotions

So you know how some days you act a little different because you're sad or angry or frustrated or super happy or scared or whatever. And sometimes people notice it and ask you "hey, what's going on? Why are you happy/sad/scared/frustrated/angry/otheremotionalresponse?"

What happens when it's just a regular normal day--I'm not super happy or frustrated or anything--but about half of my students ask me what's wrong? Are they seeing something I'm not?

Weird.

My mind is a MACHINE!

My mind has been thinking more than recently. I've got about four of God's special memory enhancers (Post-It Notes) on my desk with things that have come to my head and ideas or thoughts or curiosities that I want to explore. Not all in the blogosphere necessarily, but they are out there.

So in an effort to sort of clean off my desk and organize things a bit, here are where my thoughts have lead recently:

• Worthship vs. Worship
• There's a lunar eclipse on the 20th (that's tomorrow) we should celebrate it--not that we're pagan, but because it'd be cool.
• I like that Matchbox 20 came back together and they have a new song I like.
• Things that I mentioned in talking with Micah last night about replacements of identites and how to move on in life.
• Sweating the small stuff and having your priorities in order and understanding what's actually small
• The path of least resistance, that bloody Robert Frost poem, and God's plan for us.
• Giving all your mind, strength, heart, soul, SELF to God.
• The usage of Thou and Thy in the KJV and my thoughts on it + How to pray in French (Yes, they are related, oddly enough).
• What the crap am I going to do this summer???

So yes, those are the thoughts in myh ead. One day I hope to tackle them all. Hopefully soon.

As far as the last one, I do have some new information. I can teach at UF for half of the summer but it seems as if I'm getting paid squat for it (about 100$ a week....seriously). If anyone has any supplimentary jobs I could do this summer...I'd love to hear them. I'll do data entry, picture tagging, lawn mowing, toilet cleaning, or whatever you would like me to do. If it pays and I'm available, I'll probably do it.

I haven't heard back from Paris yet. Hopefully soon, but probably going to be a few weeks yet. I'd like to get my summer plans a bit more nailed down, really...ah well.

The Circle of Life is Shaped Like A Heart

It is a sad day.

Yes, today of all days--the day of love, the day of happiness, the day of wolf-fertility, the day of fat babies with sharp pointy weapons--something tragic has occured.

A once beloved fish has passed away from this world and has gone to wherever fish go after they die.

He was an incredible fish. Defying all odds to survive moving nearly 550 miles in a car on four different occaisions, living in a very small enclosure, and breathing(?) the wonderful different tap waters of these four places. He apparently survived in these harsh conditions nearly one and a half years from his release from the hands of blue (two by two).

R.I.P., Bloop.

You shall be missed.

Mindless Musings

I was going to open this entry up by saying "Lots of thoughts on my mind, like always" and then I realized...wait...if I always have lots of thoughts on my mind, then why do I have to start an entry telling everyone this? Well, I guess I don't. But I just did. Hurm.

Anyway,

I've been finding myself thinking about a lot of things and wanting to get them off my chest. Well, not really get them off my chest as much as just throw the idea out there and talk it through with someone. Unfortnately, I've fallen out of contact with a lot of my friends. In fact, when I call pretty much any of my friends in the ATL area I feel like I'm intruding on their new lives. They have spouses, real-world jobs, and lives that don't involve me. I feel kinda left behind in the single college-student scene. I know they would protest, but their problems are so different than mine now, I feel like I got stuck in the past.

It's hard when you have thoughts you're ashamed of but can't get out of your mind. Even things that are incredibly ridiculous and no one would care...the shame that I even think of them makes me not want to share it...regardless of the validity of my thoughts. I used to have some friends where i felt comfortable sharing this stuff...where I didn't feel judged....where I could tell people things in confidence and they genuinely cared and wouldn't bat an eye or tell a soul. What happened? I guess that's all part of growing up.

I hurt for my family who is dealing with how to deal with my grandfather. I hurt for my grandfather.

I really appreciate my parents. I'm not sure I could give my children the same kind of awesome upbringing that I really appreciate like they did.

I have days where I'm comfortable with who I am and days where I regret every decision I've made. Ha, how bi-polar sounding.

I made both an A on my final paper in that class I had to rewrite the paper in as well as an A in the class. This makes me quite happy. Although part of me wonders if I just got it out of pity.

I've spent the past 10 years studying French and I still don't think I've got it all down. I feel kinda like a failure.

I seem to write a lot of posts in bullet-points. That's relaly how my mind works, though.

Last week I had two different verses that randomly popped into my head. It's weird, I have been horrible at memorizing verses since forever. But these just popped into my head out of nowhere while I was trying to fall asleep. The first was "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Mark 12:28-30) and I have since forgotten the second. I've got lots of thoughts brewing about these two verses, maybe one day i'll get them out for the world to hear.

The path of least resistance. This concept confuses me. I understand it by definition, but the practical implications of it both in this world and outside make me confused. Kinda like being who you are but also changing what's wrong with you. Perhaps something again to address another day.

I've got a lot more but I'm self-conscious about putting them on the internet. (How dumb am I?)

Besides, this is so long no one is going to read it anyway.

Oh yeah? Well, take that!

Lots of thoughts running through my head. Some good. Some bad. Some not easily placeable into such indescript categories as "good" and "bad".

The past week was ridiculously busy as far as school goes. I had a test, a presentation, a paper, various homeworks, and loads of grading and teaching-related stress. It's over (for the most part) though, now. So that's good.

I found out my favourite radio station back home is no longer in existance. Apparently no one likes alternative/rock music in Atlanta anymore but the Top 40, Rap, and R&B are, of course, amazingly popular. Bum. They really were a good station--locally owned, played a good mix of music, and gave a lot of new bands a chance when no one else would. I guess it really doesn't matter much since I don't live there anymore. But they were a large part of my (musical) life from 1998 to 2007. Ah well.

I feel like I'm changing in Gainesville, and I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. I don't think I like it though.

I'd give anything for a good D&M right now, for realz.

Every once in a while my thoughts wander off to old friends I've lost--well not lost, but extremely diminished--contact with. What happened?

Winter is no longer here in Florida. We're back to 70+ degree weather. RIP Winter of '07-'08.